w h a t s t h a t . . . !

I n t h e n i g h t w h e n i t w a s n t d a r k ,
O n a d a y w h e n i t d i d n t g l o w ,
Y o u k n o w w h a t w a s w r o n g ?

L i k e a s l e e p w i t h n o d r e a m s ,
L i k e a w o u n d w i t h n o c u t s ,
Y o u k n o w w h a t t h a t w a s ?

A n d a d e a d l y l o n e r w i t h w r e t c h e d s o u l
W h e n I w r o t e w i t h o u t m y h e a r t
Y o u l l k n o w w h a t w a s w r o n g a n d I w o n t s a y w h a t t h a t w a s!

Good Morning!

Another day woke me up from my bed early in the morning and the first wish for the morning was reserved to my new gang of friends who always stayed with me quite close by. With a gentle smile I opened my eyes and they were right by my side dancing to welcome me for a whole new day. They were 100 plus feet and tall enough to peep in my windows. I nearly whispered ‘Good Morning’ and they bowed down to acknowledge outside my window along the roadside!

It was time for an early morning jog and I liked to be on road while there were less vehicles. Few others who had grown up with discipline came out jogging at the nature reservoir a few miles away from where I stayed. Each was a stranger to the other but when someone smiles at you, you would naturally smile at them! Like a celebrity would to the paparazzi, I smiled at everyone on my way. It was as much of an exercise to my facial muscles as much to the rest of the body!

There was one special person who always greeted me after I first wished her ‘Good Morning’. She never said good morning to me but replied in her way… ‘Zao an’ and we exchanged few more smiles before walking our own ways. There was some warmth in it and the smiles had multiplied. An old man who never said good morning to me used to say, ‘Selamat pagi’.

The nature reservoir looked full of life and a life full of smiles. It was a place where strangers met every morning to just smile at each and wish good morning in their own languages. It was where I realized the importance of celebration of each day and each new morning. ‘You don’t really need to know anyone and you don’t really need reasons to smile’, the old man always said in a language that I didn’t know but whose meaning I very well knew!

It’s late now and I sleep before it’s too late…
I wake up early to meet my unknown mates…
They would come down to wish me and I’ll no more wait…
It’s going to be a new day again, so keep wishing … Good Morning!

Search…!

Once upon a time, the world was dark and the stars didn’t shine. Moon had slept for long time and the sun never rose. Time was moving but the world didn’t. Half world was awake while the other half slept. There were only nights, long and dreaded nights that never seemed to end…

He lived in a jungle because he liked the soft walk on dead leaves and fragrance of unseen flowers and also bats’ singing! He walked nonstop and never rested anywhere. He was on a journey and knew that there was no stopping until he found what he wanted. It was something that no one ever sold and no one ever purchased something that wasn’t free nor was too expensive! It had no definition and no form. He knew all these but was in search of its origin.

While walking on soft leaves seemed good, he felt after a while that there was something else that was better. He knew he had to get rid of these leaves beneath before finding that something better. He walked faster and there was a wooden bridge he had heard of which hung a few miles away. After walking faster and running harder he found the wooden bridge approaching. He smiled and felt relieved of those millions of dead leaves on which he had walked for so many days. The wooden bridge was readily set for his new journey!

As he walked on the bridge, there were nails that had grown upwards sometimes piercing into his legs and he screamed out of pain. ‘Ah! Why am I walking on this wood’, he cried! The leaves were better than this hard wood and never seemed to hurt me so much even when I walked on them, he thought. The journey on the wooden bridge wasn’t very pleasant and he was expecting something better would come on his way. For long time, there was nothing that had come his way. He had heard someone say that the best walk would be on sand and went in search of sand. He knew that a journey on sand would mean a full-stop to his miseries and he would no more need to find anything else to walk on. So he knew his mission… it was sand!

On his way he saw a sand route just a little away, but not everyone was allowed to walk in. Only few people walked on it and were treated with importance. ‘You’ve to be an important and well deserving person to walk on it’ he thought. He was denied an entry and he tried to find another route to the sand road. After a few tries and retries he was finally allowed in. It was like a heavenly feeling for him to have achieved his goal of walking on the sand and he was on cloud 9. He felt a sense of pride and was patting his own shoulder for what he had got for himself. The journey had begun and seemed very beautiful.

After sometime it started raining and the sand turned dirty. There were pits here and there and it was tough for him to walk. His legs were dirty and he could not clean himself. How it would be on wood when it rains, he wondered. How better it was on the leaves, he recollected. Remembering his journey brought tears and he looked for ways to get out of the sand before which a lightning flashed!

‘What do you want?’ it asked.

‘I want something that no one ever sold and no one ever purchased something that wasn’t free nor was too expensive! It has no definition and no form. I want to know its origin’ he said instantly.

‘You mean you want a journey on sand?’

‘No’

‘You want a journey on wood?’

‘No’

‘Is it on leaves?’

‘No’

‘Is it on something else?’

‘Yes’

‘Content is the word you are looking for!’ and it disappeared.

Yes, indeed it was 'content'. But why wasn’t it seen or found anywhere though I went from one place to the other he was questioning the lightening. There was no reply…

Without questioning anymore and without bothering to change his journey he continued walking on the sand. He ignored the dirt it had and tried not to compare his earlier journeys with this one and kept walking. The sand had started to dry down. The dawn was about to be born and fresh sunrays had taken all the dirt out of the sand. It was a bright morning and he smiled again. He walked with joy and there was no need of any other journey because the search was over and he had found what he wanted. He knew he would carry it with him forever from now on.

The nights had gone and the world saw brightness for the first time. Dark tress looked green and brown while beasts on the tress smiled down. He acknowledged and the smile reached smiling sun!

Just like that…!

Blossom oh dear friend of life, like a flower!
Don’t let the flower in the name of love wither!
Let the feelings be in heart…
Let the music be mute…
Just like that…!

Bird sings without revealing,
Jasmine smacks without questioning!
Blowing wind and the birds' song connect without naming!
Why do we care? Oh friend, let's not name it…
Just like that…!

Feelings far above the words have more meaning!
A lovely heart never gets distressing!
Despite digress, the moon walks with us…
I'll see you in him!
Let this weave remain, oh friend…
Just like that…!

This one's a tribute to 'araLuthiru jeevada geLeya' from mungaru maLe. Deep thinking and simple writing... hats off to Jayant & Yograj!

The Greatest Truth…

And the words were ordinary than they had ever been! He did not understand a single word for the first time. They understood every unspoken and unintended gesture of one another for the past so many years. This was for the first time and he was uncertain of what was going on and had lost complete control of his ‘self’. Sometimes you have to await your answers and he knew it very well. But to err is human and to be impatient is arien who he was. With a peg of vodka in hand he stuck glued to the large glass window watching wide big sky with clouds here and there…

‘Ok, I gotta go’ she said and left without his consent. May be she was going away for one last time and had no other way to come back. Or may be she’s waiting to be asked to come back. Or may be it’s all over. May be you need to move on in life without waiting for things that you’re not sure of getting. Hundreds of such ‘may be’s were going on and he had not sipped anything as yet. May be it was my mistake, he thought once for a millisecond. But no, logically I’m right. Even if I throw this situation to my closest of friends to my all-time enemies they would say I’m right, he thought. I’m so much right, then why has she done this!

It was till late noon that he stood like a rock pillar never feeling the hunger or need to sip his 1st peg. The lines on forehead were becoming like permanent markings, eyebrows assumed ugly posture and eyes blinked more than usual. ‘What am I supposed to be doing for her mistake’, he asked. This was probably one of the first few questions and also probably one of the last few to be answered. Reasons are again perceptions, my own reasoning stands unreasonable if I turn the table for a while. If I can be so generous and so accommodative, why can’t she be?

It might be so easy for these crows and cuckoos that they never have to worry about various things unlike us. Can I be a crow or cuckoo as well and fly off to a completely different world of mine where I care about no one, not even her! Can I just be with myself and not for anybody else! Can I be empty! Yes, may be its practical. That’s what some of the saints do. They leave and live.

Such arguments were never new to any human mind, nor was there an end. There was only a beginning; a little ignition was enough. While he stood there desperately waiting for an answer, ready to take a decision and ready to leave the bell rang! It could be her?

‘Sir there was a big accident and your car is smashed. And your wife is…’ the man paused. He ran out and didn’t take the elevator, had climbed down 10 floors with heaviest heart he ever had. Now none of the questions were valid, no answer held importance. I need to see her, I need to see her alive. He did not notice he was crying until he hugged her while she stood waiting for him in the lobby.

‘I wanted to see the real you’, she said.

‘Thanks for showing me as well’

The greatest truth...

...are the simplest!

Passion...!

A silent moon or an unheard tune…
A treasury flower or a heavenly glow…
You’re creator’s passion!

A morning or a silky cloud…
Are you the summer’s cold!
Like dawn’s first ray, like a dwindling wave…
You spread all fragrance vary away!

Unspoken eyes forever…
Your words bore a hearty prayer!
While you run in my veins, how can you be far!
Oh dear…
You’re creator’s passion!

Me n My Madness – X

I was startled, perplexed and what not! I didn’t have to give my answer… everyone with common sense had sensed it. My madness had done something that wasn’t in my wildest of imaginations. But hey hold on, I said to myself. Is it real?

‘It’s a mega-project and I decided to pull you in after I saw your dance movements the other day. Your expressions could be something best suited for this role.’ Priya was the first creature of god who praised me ever. It was kind of weird and I felt she was bluffing!

‘You’ll know more about it later! Now you guys get your snacks.' She seemed very busy and pinched my chin as an indication of good luck! I didn’t believe in this luck factor throughout my life may be because I never experienced it myself. But this one made feel lucky… I had to be… otherwise how would I land up in something like this? I wanted to hug my madness.

This was a mega-budget series which involved lot of big names in the cine industry. Lots of recognizable faces were moving around me and I felt a little out of place. Just one dialogue played in the back of my mind… “One day or the other Life takes a U turn”

Yes, I said without realizing it was loud enough!

‘What can you give me for this?’ my madness asked.

‘But how did you come to know? Who brought you here? What’s this serial called? What about the crew?’ I asked endless questions and before she answered me there was Priya once again with us.

‘Do you have passport?’ she asked me in a hurry and worried almost expecting a no.

‘Yes’ I countered.

‘Oh, great! Then you can fly’ she had disappeared.

Fly to where? Are we going to Chennai or Mumbai? Or is it Delhi? I didn’t know and nor did my madness. The snacks I ate were tasteless, the drinks didn’t get past my throat… the cine girls didn’t attract me. I was about to faint!

‘One formal screening before we book your tickets. You need to grow your beard and shave your mustache.’ Priya ordered.

‘But where are we going?’ my voice nearly faded.

‘Singapore… ‘

To be continued…

bIzaRrE…!

There have been times when I wanted to speak and had no one to talk to, I wanted to party and no one to accompany while there were others when I wanted to be alone but people were bugging and I wanted to sit and cry when everyone’s watching! When life gets complicated (like it always does) I try to make it look simple and when life just goes on simple terms I tend to find it boring and create more complications.

This ridicules me so much as it would someone else and I love to remain a confused and craving soul that I’ve always been. Being confused makes you think always and try out things that only existed in your wildest imaginations. One day I want to jump from my 10th floor and then fly from the ground. I’ve done it already in my mind and there are other things that did turn into reality. Like this crazy writing which only existed and kept crawling in my mind when I did hundred things in 100 seconds and now I put it on a paper. Did anyone ever fully understand the other?

Well sometimes there is no need to analyze simplest of things and try to find meaning out of it. A water fall is naturally beautiful, why do poets have to bind them in their 10s of lines? Anyone who sees can see…

Having said all of these without any purpose or without a waken mind I go back to sleep and hope I’ll arrange these jumbled sentences and words tomorrow to get something meaningful! Many a times meaningless and illogical and impractical bizarre tend to be next to you in real! That’s life and that’s truth… stranger than fiction!

Now I promise to get me n my madness in…