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‘Samar’, she said horrified and terrified at his behavior. She had never seen such a face of his in their 12 years of married life. He looked possessed, or so she thought. ‘Wake up, please… Are you going to kill me for real?’ she asked him and asked herself. She wanted to flee from the spot right away!

His eyes remained crimson and followed her recklessly. It was only a remote controller he used but had beaten her like it was a knife! Though they fought verbally, they never got physical in their arguments in years. It was a shocker for Shaayri to see her husband beat her that badly like he was to kill her.

It was not long ago when Samar had gone out with his friends for a long trip. His outings became more frequent and longer than normal. She didn’t question him to avoid being nagging, however she had doubts on his behavior off late. ‘May be you should confront him, it’s time!’ her close friend had advised. She waited patiently. May be he needs a break or maybe he wants to refresh, it could be his business or it could just be their relation that needed a revival. She gave him more liberty until this night when he was home earlier than she anticipated.

He looked at nothing other than her. ‘How could I be your target? I’m your love… don’t you know?’ she pleaded but failed. ‘What wrong did I do? Why don’t you say something?’ All he would do was laugh like a psychic. Was he really possessed?  Are these wandering souls and daemons for real? Do they exit? She asked herself but got no logical answers. She only knew she was being hunted and the hunter was none other than her husband. After a long tussle, he spoke in an unusual and unreal voice…

‘I want you, before I leave. I want to take you from here. I want to liberate you from this world and take you into mine. Come with me’ and hit her badly once again. She fell down hurt and bleeding with blood. She never woke up in her world again!

A week ago while being in one of his outings, Samar met with an accident that turned fatal and his death was unknown to anyone. His soul had to return to tell only love of his life, his wife that he was dead. He wandered and returned to her. But she saw him like he was alive and they could never be one again until she transformed into his world. He was left with only one option and that was to kill her and take her to where he was.

‘Wake up, now you and I are together. I can’t live without you nor can I die without you. Come to me’ his soul cried. But she was unmovable. There was no life, no soul, nothing. She had probably taken birth somewhere but she had definitely left this body. He continued wandering, to find her… Or her soul…

Another Fortnight...!

Listen, oh part of my soul!

You’re the one I await to see

I welcome with warmth and you’ll have all of me…

I remember the day when you were planted

To tell the world about you, I hesitated

My heart skipped a beat watching your heart rate

It was then, when the wait had started

A beautiful journey begun, all full of fun!

Happiness reached sky and all turned green!

Screening you every fortnight was the ultimate delight…

Moments when you moved, you reacted and kicked

Nothing like what I had ever imagined

I touched you from outside and felt you had replied!

To hold you in arms

To give you all I had and will ever have

To see you in real, oh my soul I wait

Months have descended; it’s just another fortnight…

Na main Tera tha na hoon...!

Na koi khushboo na samaa hai,
Jo kabhi Teri Yaad laaye
Na main Tera tha na hoon
Kyu phir ye Judaai hai!

Ye raahein meri thi, ye saji zameen 
Khushi ya udhaas safar haseen 
Ye jahaan bhi mera apna tha
Mudke dekhoon to jaise sab kuch Ek sapna tha

Iss baat pe roye, ya kisi se roothe
Ant kya Yahi to Nahi
Ya Koi khoobsurat shuruwat hai
Achcha saara ateet tha
Aanewaala behtar haqeeqat hai!

Flowers on D7000

Collection of flowers shot from my Nikon D7000 at the Lumpini Park Bangkok.

Riha...!

It was calling, dragging and threatening me to come out. It didn't listen to any plea nor showed mercy or patience. No time was left like a whirlwind nearing, circling and swallowing in a jiffy!
'At least give me some more time, I promise I'll return after that' I told. I kept dragging and running away from it while it kept approaching with time. I neither joined nor could I stay away. Time went ticking and flying without will or grant.
'See, it's been late now. You've got to come' it echoed. I ran away further a bit but it was chasing down. 'That's it now. You've no choice anymore' it declared and came racing down. I was taken in its arms, I was held hostage. I was in its control fully and it laughed at me. It mocked me. It looked into my eyes and declared my defeat loud and clear so that the world could hear. I heard too, about my defeat. The world was happy for me, they thought I'm there for good and stay on rather than wandering. It all felt like peaceful, no racing, no threatening and no conflicts. The world smiled at me and so did my conqueror but that was not the smile I liked. It was the smile of a winner who looked right into the eyes of the looser with pride!
For once I looked up into its eyes and nodded, the world around wondered. I looked at all and turned my back to run away against time for once and forever. How long or how far none knew. It never came to look for me and I went away into a world that was still waiting.
This is my world and how can I be elsewhere, I'm back and will never be chased or called. 'I'm all yours and you're all mine' I said with a smile, one last smile...

You’re my mate my love...!

I've sacrificed, I’ve banished all

I've come to you, teach me love

If you care for me, I damn the world

I’m ousted… I don’t even belong to this world!

You’re my dawn, my dusk, you’re my mate my love…

Every time, every minute, all the day, you’re my mate my love…!

On the slate of my heart, I engrave

The World wonders, ‘Is it my name!’

Just drag me into your arms, I damn the world

You’re my victory, the world my defeat… I don’t even belong to this world!

You’re my dawn, my dusk, you’re my mate my love…

Every time, every minute, all the day, you’re my mate my love…!

I've written it all in my eyes, can’t you see!

Like you, I want to be…

With you around, the world is mine… Else, I don’t even belong to this world!

You’re my dawn, my dusk, you’re my mate my love…

Every time, every minute, all the day, you’re my mate my love…!

P.S.: Yes, it’s tum hi ho bandhu from Cocktail this time!

One Day I'll...!

One day I’ll just exist, un-perished, un-deceased & un-won.

One day I’ll still be around, mightn’t matter to any matter or to a particle or a creature.

One day I’ll breathe, I’ll float, I’ll wander and I would go on to wonder.

One day I’ll be what I was, just the very same old me.

One day I won’t be any more, but I’ll be. Yes, the same day, I’ll be… 

With You, Right Through...!

With you, I’ll stay with you

I’ll delight you right through

You said it…

And, you spelt what my heart just felt!

I now deduce what it is…

My soul bloomed in your words, my heart thumped on your dreams

In your musical phrase, I’m dissolved in your eyes!

Behold my gift love, love it is!

Let’s chase some clouds to sail, with smile

Love birds and parrots we seek, and trail

Climbing the Rainbow, and sliding down

Let’s fly together, live forever, dusk or dawn!

PS: I've tried to translate one of the most loved songs in Kannada - 'Jotheyali' from the movie Geeta. Excellent lyrics, beautiful singing and mesmerizing composition. 

Memento...!

The kid walked on the memory lane long time into the past, short enough to be clear and long enough to be vague! It’s funny sometimes, the kid thought and a smile flashed instantly just to disappear quickly. This was where I had walked. I clearly remember this path, these fallen leaves and tall trees, the sounds of water fall. What was I thinking then and what do I think now thinking about the day when I walked here first? Places might not change, people do, along with time and so do their thoughts and hence actions. Well, there’s nothing new in this thought. As random and trivial as before!

He walked further into the forest quite skeptical of his action, but it wasn’t dark as yet and the Sun was still bright enough to peep in along with him. I had not gone past this stone bench ever. Some strange sounds and movements appeared. He continued, slipping off the leaves at times and getting hurt by thorns that scared. He reached the top of the water fall and looked down under. A stone fell below his feet along the water and he bent to see where it rested. He touched the water and sensed its strange aroma and feel. He joined hands and took some water and drank, cleansed his face and hair. Why didn’t I do it earlier? I did have time and I was here so often!

He stood for some more time and more memories from the past ran through his thoughts reminding of the days and many incidents. All he had noticed earlier was a useless jungle that no one visited, some small dirty water fall that failed to attract locals or foreigners and a thorny leafy path up there that looked vulnerable to fatal accidents. And what I had missed to see! What they had missed to relish!

He sat down on the tip of the rock from where the same stone had fallen down a few minutes ago. Water washed him and made him completely wet. He liked it and enjoyed it. I feel free, I’m liberated! He let go off himself and joined the water drops in their fall. He ran down like a stone, like a fallen leaf that’s free from its tree, independent, relieved, the one that’s been let go, like water droplets that are chained yet apart, they drift yet together. He moved slowly and steadily falling on with it, like a flowing water. Nothing hurt; it was only a moment of happiness and true rejuvenation that he hadn’t experienced in any of his earlier visits. Those memories of the place would be enriched all the more with this new experience. He was in love with the paradise and closed his eyes and only smiled.

The water fall lead him into a small pond below, which was muddy and untidy. He knew nothing about its existence. He looked back raising his head at the water fall and blew a kiss. Some more leaves fell down while clouds gathered. He opened his arms and let the smile go on. Clouds started to shower and the moment just paused.

Some memories from the past run down reminding sweet times and ask us to join them once again. It’s not easy, it’s not always possible and yet if we join them nothing remains the same. Everything would’ve changed. But would we still smile, like we did remembering those times?

Amma...!

Amma, nee nanna kareya baarade
Baa kanda yenna baarade
Kangalannu teredu naanu ninna kaanade
Koneyadondu usiranelede badukalaarade

Yenidenidentha novu, ninna kannaleke marugu
Nanna nova nungi nalide neene aa hindomme tirugi nodey
Kelalaarade helalaarade tiliyalaarade
Aluva maguvanariva neenu koragadiru mundindendu

Kareye omme baaro endu
Nanna muddu kandanendu
Huduki karula balliyannu
Appalendu baruve naanu

Madidarenu naanomme
Aladiru nanagaagi taaye
Janisalendu matte kaayve, karedaakshanave thevali baruve
Amma endu ninne kareve...

Fake it...!

It's not easy to be yourself like they say. Why is it so if you may ask, while the answer lies within. If you're yourself, chances are you may not be liked by all and even if you're appreciated for what you really are, there are most certainly those other traits the same 'you' would possess that might attract hatred from the very same 'those' who are the admirers. Then you fall back and ask yourself was it a great idea to have been yourself!? One answer screams out 'yes' because you were liked truly and another big 'no' echoes for loosing out - being unable to conceal!

Had you just been able to hide that one little tiny trait, you wouldn't be hated, you would be loved. You would've made it in the interview and yielded that dream job, you would've been recognized ahead of your colleague, you would've even closed the deal with a tough customer! Alas! You curse yourself for not faking it, for being honest and transparent! So was it worth it you ask, for being yourself!

Next such encounter along the way, you quickly had given up and faked it pretty well getting all that you ever wanted. Or you're still yourself, even more than before and you don't care what you could never get coz you have what you would never loose - yourself! You wanna fake it or show it!? Look into the mirror and answer...

What have you done...!

‘What have you done?’ she asked as he stood bent on his knees like asking for forgiveness.

She looked more beautiful to the morning Sun while some clouds moved faster than usual making her glow and fade in split seconds. The lake was standstill, the flowers stood high and huge leaves hosted dew drops indicating early morning showers. He felt like drinking from them to kill his thirst, but she had stopped him.

‘What have you done?’ she repeated knowing he had no answer. It was a cool morning in the hot month of April. Yet, he was sweating. He deliberately walked to the lake to enjoy the cool breeze least expecting her threat. She looked angrily at him once again and the breeze died.

The mountain behind had given way for some beautiful flowers to blossom and it was on its head the Sun stood hanging, acting like a golden crown. He carefully watched the Sun and smiled at the shining water on the lake. They all had a relation with each other. They were related like the members of a family. They worked together, for each other and in unison.

‘What have you done?’ she reiterated with anger suggesting havoc in the waiting.

‘I can’t take you anymore. I have had enough!’ she cried. He was composing his thoughts and said nothing. His bent head accepted guilt and tears filled eyes moved away from hers. ‘You can’t face me anymore!’ she screamed.

He was slowly moving his hands on the green grass below, touching each of them. He ran towards the banyan and held it tight and prayed. To the fragrance of the flower he gently smiled. She was not to be calmed. He ran into the lake and tried to drown but failed. She laughed heavily at his attempt. He climbed up the mountain just to fall back again on to her. He didn’t give up and pledged to climb to the top but kept failing and falling down. She watched it all until he was hurt.

‘I don’t have an answer. I don’t know…’ he cried like an infant. She had tears in her eyes. It was slowly drizzling by then. Clouds had got thicker. It was impossible to climb any further on the wet mountain and he had finally given up and fallen down.

‘I just want to hug you tight. Don’t hate me for what I have done. Take me in your arms and love me the way you always did ever since I was born. I bear the grudge on their behalf. Forgive them, they are your children.’

‘I can’t forgive you or anyone. This is the end. No hints or indications have worked on you. You’re incurable. Find yourself another place.’

She started closing down, swallowing up everything. All trees got eaten, the mountain got sucked up while the lake spilled and flowers withered. He saw everything under him sinking. For one last time, he saw her and begged for mercy. ‘Pardon me, mother’ and closed his eyes.

‘A mother will teach you the same lesson until you've completely learnt. If you fail, I’ll come again. Don’t ask me, ask yourself, what have you done?’

Good Night...!

It was a long day and involved quite a lot of junk intake making me guilty of having my dinner when I got back home fortunately on time. I wasn’t used to jogging on the road during nights in all these years, maybe I only enjoyed getting up and running looking at the emerging Sun as the day too emerged and looked new as against a dull night when energy levels were much lower. Today however, I had to work out before my body would be further fed with any more food and I took up the task. ‘I’ll be back in 30mins’ I exclaimed, not really sure if I was going to complete the whole journey of 3.5 - 4Km that I often do in the mornings.

As I stepped out, it was windy, mute and pleasant evening and jogging was kind of just a sailing on the legs. I stuck to the regular route to the nature park knowing that there would still be light poles inside. Once I enter this nature park, whenever it is, I feel a strange welcome that tells me I’m a prince entering a wonderland, a special habitat that was waiting to see me. It’s been nearly 4 years since I first saw this park and the more I drooped away from here the more I missed it. I was only glad I made the decision of once again renting a flat in this locality after a hiatus of 2 years! Unlike those earlier entries when the park shined gloriously under the Sunlight, now it looked dark and haunting under the moon, but welcoming nevertheless. I got inside and stared all those trees and branches, those specially tailored leaves, leafy paths, flow of water on the way and warmth. There were remote noises of some vehicles outside that couldn’t make it to the deeper areas of the park.

It all looked black in the distance and dark green nearby. They stood silent, unmoved and no wind blew. I saw clear sky when I had started which had now given way for some floating dark clouds that I disliked. As I got further deep into the park, into an area that’s more thick and dense, closed by tall trees and scary branches there were sounds of nocturnal insects presenting a scene right out of a horror movie. And like no horror movie got me scared ever, the park would be the last thing to do so I thought with a smile and sped through it to reach an area where I often took a break. I stretch and perform some regular exercises then rest on the wooden bench for a slight meditation.

I utter or hear the word ‘Om’, I don’t know if it’s because I’m religious. It doesn’t even matter. I say ‘Om’ once again as long as it pleases and soothes. I see a lady somewhere up there in the middle of those trees sitting on a rock with a little river flowing by her side and a peacock on her back as she’s holding a sitar and playing it to my hymns of ‘Om’. There’s also a sea in the background with Sun rising behind her making it all look orange and yellow. She slowly plucks the strings and plays softly, mildly and soothingly to the hymns. I see that she’s smiling at me like always and then she tells me, ‘Son, I’m here. Don’t worry’. However, I can’t see her clearly in the dark night and I can’t concentrate enough to meditate well and I don’t try hard either. Let me not go into any kind of trance, I like this present. I open my eyes and look at my surroundings and breathe the fresh air, love the muteness and enjoy its deserted feel.

My stretching exercises are done and I once again get on to running. I pass through the park which is more of a jungle now and take my route back on a different path. As I run, I don’t stay quiet and calm. I speak out, I don’t just smell the fragrance but drink it, absorb it and I scream at the skies with innumerable questions. Once my friend asked me, ‘what do you think when you’re running?’ and I thought it was an easy question until I started to dwell into it further. I’m thinking when I’m running, I told him. But it wasn’t a great answer. What do you think, he would probe further. But there’s no one answer to it or a fixed pattern of thoughts that happen when I’m running. It’s a flow of unending series of questions that I throw UP to someone who’s patiently listening or so I insist. I run further and questions grow in numbers and this game is played until almost I’m at the end of the park where the road is laid. Just when I’m about to arrive, I see some bright reflection on the top UP there that says something incomprehensible to me and discloses something that has all the answers to all questions I had asked for the day. The image covers its face with this little thing and it becomes clear to my eyes at that point and I know what it was showing me – a mirror!

I read all the answers that I asked for and only I understand. It’s not for anyone else but just for me and mine. By then, I’m out of the park, on the road and without signaling I wave at the image which must be somewhere inside and would show up when I’m here next time. I wave with content and a smile and thank the image and also thank myself for having made this decision of coming over to this heavenly place.

I’m back on the road to my house having burnt some unwanted calories and having gained some really wanted cleansing for my soul. While I get near to my house, the mosque stands lit under the same moon and I utter a little ‘salam’ coz that’s all I know. He must understand it and it shouldn’t matter I tell myself and open the gate of the apartment.

My breathing is normal and I’ve returned to my mundane routine, but only after bathing my inner ‘self’! Good Night world!

Am I...?

Am I different, Am I same!

Am I special or just ordinary n lame!

Am I a gift or unwanted n rotten!

Am I what I know or Am I being written!
Am I real or illusion, forged or forgotten?

Am I what they want me to be or what they thought I am?

Am I just none of anyone, yet a little bit of everyone?

Am I sent or thrown, bought or on my own!

Am I the one which mirror had shown?

Am I what my name is or my deed, what I’ve read or understood and craved for indeed!

Am I something beyond everything, evolving, growing and ageing back and forth!

Why do I wonder what I am when I’ve met many like me and many unlike me!

Why do I wander looking for everything else other than my-self?

Am I just a wanderer wondering, looking for what I am, what am I?

Am I?

WANDERERS - XXII

They got further involved in their own world of thoughts and said nothing to each other for long time, yet sat at the same place facing one another. It was a special day on the local calendar, an auspicious occasion to the people of the town. One by one, people were coming into the cave-house temple with flowers and other stuffs to offer their prayers to the god that was placed at the temple before the entrance to the cave which the wanderer had completely ignored and was least interested even on his first visit.

He was watching them come over to the idol, decorate it with colorful stuffs and pray out loud. He looked seriously before falling into a big laughter. The sanyasin looked on and without being upset at his behavior,

‘You think these people are foolish to perform their offerings and prayers to the god?’ she asked calmly, hiding her annoyance.

‘And you tell me they had to come all the way from wherever they were, whatever they were doing to decorate a stone which is an idol which is a god and say loud prayers? How is it that the idol or god would listen and how does he send his answers back? You seem intelligent, highly intellectual. Why don’t you tell them their gods lie within and they need to clean and decorate their souls, their own selves, not something external?’

‘Let me ask you this. I know you don’t believe in god, nor prayers or worships. Why did you choose to come here and stay in this temple of all the places in this town?’ she asked and without waiting for his reply which she also knew she went on, ‘You knew you’ll find your answers here. Where did that belief come from? Who told you so? You call that your intuition or your self-guided power. You don’t want to call it ‘a call from the god’ because you’re intelligent. They call it a god because they are foolish and I don’t see any difference between the two. Both are here at the same place for same purpose.’

‘Well, that’s not true. I am here because this place looks beautiful from all sides and I love natural habitats around this place. It instills some energy in me. I liked it instantly. There were other places I had tried after starting my journey and before eventually coming down to this place. What got me hooked on was more to do with you than the idol’ he said without inhibitions,

‘Don’t take me wrong, but the conversations I had with you made me stay on, not the place itself. And I know some magic lies in the cave, inside there. Not in this idol or the perceived god.’

‘Yes, you’re right. You’ve answered your own question. They don’t find the presence of that magic in the cave and you don’t find it in the idol. I see it in both places. Like the air is everywhere but not the breeze, the aroma is around but each enjoys different fragrance. You know that too. Then why mock their belief in the magic?’

He had such arguments earlier with friends and colleagues, even with his own folks and had more or less left winning in the end. He simply didn’t find it useful to win over the sanyasin on this. ‘We could continue on this, but some other time’ he changed the topic as more people got into the temple and more prayers were being offered loud enough for them to hardly listen to each other.

By winning an argument you might feel better or proud of proving your point but at the same time you might end up hurting your opponent who loses it and it’s not a good feeling if he or she is too sensitive, which most people are. You’ll win an argument and lose a friend or spoil a relationship. He knew that very well out of his own and others’ experiences and when any debate got to a level where it got personal, he had the knack of averting the subject towards a lighter one and thereby no one would lose or win an argument at the cost of a more important ‘relationship’. The sanyasin wasn’t really that sensitive to feel hurt by a mere argument while he took note of her point which was more sensible than those he had heard before.

Yes, the air is there and the magic is found around us but we see and perceive differently because each of us find it at different places, in different ways. If the rich man had seen through the gadget and doubted the wanderer, he wouldn’t have succeeded in solving the man’s problems. The master of the universe who the wanderer believed existed but refrained from calling him a god has different plans laid out for different people. He’ll make his presence felt in various forms that can be felt by some but not by others. He had to accept different religions, different customs and enormously different creatures he himself created and it was a loop. He created them and they created him in their own ways. But were they right? It couldn’t be proved.

He looked at the sanyasin who was sitting there getting involved in the prayers and offerings that the people were making to their god. She was deeply connected as he noticed and couldn’t be disturbed easily, while he felt no connection, no existence of any god anywhere around the idol, not in the prayers, not in the songs nor in their offerings.

He went inside the cave and felt the strong chilling wind generating like always. He closed his eyes gently and felt relaxed, relieved and connected to the master of universe who he refrained from calling god!

Continues…

Un Inspired

When waking up to the glowing golden Sun didn’t inspire,

When bathing under cold shower didn't chill,

When walking under the falling leaves of autumn

And love birds that kissed each other didn’t evoke a smile,

Further on the journey, later in to the day, nothing felt exciting

When good news brought no genuine happiness

And when everything seemed to look ordinary

When excitement fell sick, was diagnosed with flu

Life that once mattered, no more did and thoughts that counted nearly died

An uninspired soul wandered like dissolving smoke and that moment never ended

It has to pass, a wait has begun. An inspiration to be welcomed from wherever it comes…

Until then, an uninspired clutter of words to fill the space and a scream out at its dark shadow…

WANDERERS – XXI

‘I’m guilty, I must confess. Tricking that rich powerful man was probably not right…’ he pleaded.

‘You don’t need to think of him anymore. He must be happy with his wife and they would live peacefully’ she concluded.

‘Was he here the next day? And you performed the ritual on the man too, didn’t you?’ he appeared to be asking her.

He waited long enough for her to say something. She said nothing, nor smiled. She let him believe what had happened without saying a word.

‘You’re a genius, a magician, a healer. You can do just about anything, create wonders. Can you solve any problem and every problem? No one would have any sufferings in this world! It’s unbelievable. Is it true?’ he did not seem to stop wondering the power of her abilities. It was no mean problem, and yet was resolved. 


Without an air or inch of pride she spoke,

‘I told you earlier and I’ll tell you one more time. Truth is about finding one’s happiness that one has lost. Everyone’s born without knowing anything about any problem of the world. Everyone’s happy until one gets involved in the magic called life. And the happiness is lost somewhere, very early in to this magic. The ultimate Truth is that happiness they’ve lost, and that needs to be restored. You think it’s not possible, you think it’s unbelievable and you call it a miracle. But I don’t. What matters is they both are happy now.’

He thought for a while. Yes, she had her justification and reasons which she had demonstrated earlier too, in her own way. His thoughts wandered back to the tomb-hall, the blind man, his unwed daughter and her sinking life. Without hesitation, he asked the sanyasin,

‘There’s another girl and a boy who are awaiting their share of happiness. Can you help?’ he asked knowing she wouldn’t refuse. He said further, expressing his genuine concern for the sanyasin,

‘It’s not easy. I have no doubts on your abilities. But I'm only worried about the consequences, which may not do any good to you or this town. Worse, if it turns fatal!’

He said turning away, looking at the tomb-hall, and seeing through those deep curvy paths into the market area which covered half of the town. Inter-religious marriages were not acceptable in that small town. It was a taboo! They raised eyebrows even in those big cities, one of which the wanderer himself belonged. He knew all of that and was aware of the aggression among the town's people from his own experience in the short time of his stay.  It was a bad idea to get involved in matters such as these that were sensitive to the masses. Yet, his heart was in it somehow. His own life ran parallel to those young lovers' who rose many unanswered questions in him and he wondered if he felt more sympathized with them or for his own helplessness. 


His worried eyes met hers. That strange mixture of a deep worry and happiness which he had seen in their first encounter no more dwelled her eyes ever since she shared her story with him. The worry had escaped and only a content smile remained, which he took note of.

She nodded with acceptance. It was her duty and her only duty – to help all those who had come to ask. She didn’t pick and choose. There was no choice, just a sincere service - and that too was a truth.

Continues…

Humsafar

Many times in our lives we cross roads with such wonderful people who would not just fill that void of an old friend from whom we had just separated but also become that good-close-best friend on the way, in a short  period of time. We get together more often, spend good times together, have loads of fun and even share our secrets/problems without inhibitions or the feeling of being with a stranger. Quickly we end up becoming such good friends and even weep and promise to miss each other, pledge to stay in touch when the time of separation once again comes.

How many times doesn't life repeat this cycle with most of us? It's directly proportional to the number of times we've changed number of places and moved on. A few emails or phone calls remain between us until an all new cycle has begun and the old cycle just hangs as an old calendar in the Facebook friend's list. Well it doesnt sound too good to hear, but true nevertheless. We even wonder if we really had spent such great times and had ever felt inseparable! Ask that strong part of the memory and the answer screams out with a big loud YES.

That colleague who had 100 cups of tea gossiping and boss-bitching, that neighbor who smiled and invited home for some coffee over the weekends, fellow traveller who only met you during flights or everyday at the bus stop. Or that roommate who shopped groceries with you and cooked your favorite dish.

Such instances just keep happening endlessly and we are programmed to overlook. Yes, the technology has advanced and we can make free calls to any damn place on earth and even see one another over a webcam. A voice inside asks me if we are too selfish to let go of such moments and deliberately weaken that part of the memory and act as if nothing matters. May be or may be not. Our lives would've still moved on without them, but there would be others in their place. Is it nobody's fault when everyone's moved on in their lives or is everyone just selfish enough to ignore or forget those old times that one should've rather cherished forever?

There's very little clarity in it, yet it was once part of your life and hence part of yourself. Is it not fair to question yourself and have a check about that little humsafar and share those moments you once did when you really can and when there's absolutely nothing that's stopping you? The question remains between you and me...

A Rainy Affair...!

The Sunday was here again and half of the day passed quickly while I had my resolution to be kept. That was to exercise – either jog or swim. Nearly couple of hours after lunch, I set out to swim with the newly replaced swim-wear and got down to the pool where I saw something unusual, something I had not seen for the past 10months or so. The pool was full!!! WT*

Yeah there were some guys in their 20s, some girls along with them of similar age group occupying half of the pool, while the other half served as playground to some kids. I waited for a while but didn’t see any indication of any one of them coming out any sooner and since I was in a rush to meet a friend/acquaintance (well I’m not yet wise enough to discriminate the two, may be a blog-post on it later) somewhere in the city, I quickly gave up on swimming and thought the road shouldn’t be too full to stop me from jogging. So there I was with my new in-ear earphones on the iPhone in different attire set for jogging. So I’m on my way to keep the resolution. Hurray!

Not after too long, on my way back, the sky had changed colors and grown darker even as it was just 4PM. I hoped the clouds would take some time to settle in and I wouldn’t be threatened too much. But a resolution isn’t any easy thing to keep, hence the name. Slowly, but the clouds started pouring in. I ran quicker than normal, somehow got under the shelter of a bus-stop after getting only minimally wet. Just as I stood there the thunderstorm grew, lighting stuck and rains bumped in from different angles making it harder to stay without getting wet. I looked at my watch and it was already 4:30. I was away from home by at-least a mile or a 10min run. I cursed myself for not carrying any money or a cash-card just in case such a situation should arise and looked over the watch again and once again. I was missing little things like a small towel, an umbrella and a $1…

There were 2 other girls taking shelter along my side and I thought of the ways I could borrow $1 from them (to travel by bus). It hadn’t happened with me before and I wasn’t capable of borrowing from strangers. The showers only got stronger showing no signs of stopping. Here I was serving my resolution and there I had to meet my friend on time. It wasn’t fair to have cancelled the appointment especially when we were meeting after quite a long time. I stood contemplating. Sometimes we take too much time to make decisions in life. Whether that time was an investment or a waste, time will tell. Here I had made up my mind after waiting helplessly for 15mins and got out of the shelter and crossed the road getting wet.

There were HDB blocks that could shelter me through some distance and I was banking on that. Underneath the blocks, I walked pretty easily but while crossing over to another road I had to find a right place and time to run in the rain. I did that and protected both my ear-phones and phone from water. In less than 10mins I had reached another bus-stop and substituted for the $1 that I didn’t borrow. From this place to my house, it was some 350m with no shelter anywhere on the way.

Why can’t there be 24X7 call centers for real crisis like these when you’re stuck in a heavy rain somewhere with a phone, yet without help. You run, get drenched, catch cold and fall sick. Instead pick up that phone and call someone to say, ‘Hey, you know what? I need you to send someone to take me home and I shouldn’t get wet even a bit’ But such things didn’t exist. I could’ve even called for a cab, but rainy days make that difficult too if not impossible. Then there were 2 pretty girls in the same bus-stop. These girls were different from the earlier ones and they had walked from those HDB blocks to the bus-stop with umbrellas. ‘Hey can I borrow one of your umbrellas? You see I’m quite drenched already’ I only thought, but didn’t say a word to them. Before I could make a decision, I saw myself running across the road. Just as I started, the signal also turned green for the vehicles that were waiting on the other end!

I ran faster than I ever did. I could’ve slipped on the wet road or some vehicle might’ve sped through and run over me. Obviously I wouldn’t be sitting here and writing all this on the same day. So you know neither of it happened. I continued to run until I reached the gate where the security personnel would give a long stare.

Without an access card, you just can’t enter the building even if you stayed there for nearly a year. They would demand for some ID proof at-least. The same was not applicable for the back gate which was now closed. I was about to feel sorry once again for myself while my neighbor was coming out of the building and opened the gate with a smile, holding the gate open until I got in. Ah! I’m in, I exclaimed.

I continued to run and got into the lobby when I saw those boys smoking cigarettes. These were the same guys who occupied the pool earlier because of which I went jogging and came back wet. I held both of my middle fingers from popping out and walked past them. Inside the lift I saw myself in the mirror how wet I was and got into my dwelling. When god sent man to earth, why did he leave him homeless I wondered! I was thankful to those men who had invented the idea of a house.

The rains had not stopped and I felt proud of making that decision to run in the rain. But if had the rains stopped I would’ve made a boo boo! Right!?

Beyond...!

‘I was left alone and my mind went blank’

‘Why? What happened?’

‘I don’t know. Something that’s never happened to me before…’

‘So you’re saying you don’t even remember anything about it?’

‘Yeah, all I know is I was sitting there and it was 12 noon. They said they’ll be back and I smiled, I acknowledged. They even cracked a joke and laughed, I didn’t.’

‘Then?’

‘Then they left. I was with myself. Just me and no one, not a thing either. I saw the roof, the floor, outside the window – a sea whose waves danced to the shining noon Sun.’

‘What else?’

‘I looked at all of that, I was wondering, I was at stance. It was all stand-still, like life had paused… I can’t say if my eyes were closed or open, nor what I saw.’

‘And?’

‘… … …’

‘Don’t you remember anything after that? What went on?’

‘No. Nothing until you woke me up.’

‘I’ve woken you up from your stance. Aren’t you mesmerized seeing me? Do you remember when you saw me last?’

‘Yes, I do. Hey, hold on. Are you real? How could that be! It’s not true! I can’t be talking to you… I’m getting nervous, I’m… I’m scared!’

‘No darling! You can’t be. You’re the love of my life and beyond. So what if I’m not alive anymore?’

‘Is it real? Is it a heaven? Have we met once again? Have we re-united?’

‘Yes, we have. Don’t cry, wipe your tears. Touch, feel and embrace!’

‘I love you…’

‘In sickness and health, through life and beyond, we shall be together no matter what. Wherever I go, I take you along.’

‘Amen!’

Tablet

Of course its not those pills or pain killers I'm talking here, I just got a new gift and this time its an Android tablet - Samsung galaxy 7.7

Does it amaze me!? Absolutely! Some dashing display, some great resolution and most of all - a touch response that matches Apple. Well that's the area which Apple devices have always been boasting about. So you've to meet if not beat Apple in this regard.

Needless to say, every other feature of this tablet outperforms all other competitors by a great margin, so why shouldn't I be proud of it! At least for now, I am. And this Swype keyboard has once again managed to surprise me with it's intuition, hats off to the inventor whoever it is.

The blogger app for Android surprisingly is a trash considering this is a google OS. Google please do something about it, I've said earlier that I don't want to migrate to the WordPress.

So far, this tablet experience has been more satisfying than the first hand feel of most of the other gadgets I have had so far, hope this feeling remains :-)

And I should keep posting much more and often, if not I'll look for an app in the Android store that can kick some butt ;-)

Chow for now!
 
Galaxy7.7

posted from Bloggeroid

WANDERERS – XX

He found himself once again in a helpless situation and cursed the blind man. ‘Who would look after you once your daughter gets married? What would you do alone?’ the wanderer had asked while the blind soul had not said a thing. Does he want to keep her with him forever he wondered and felt sad for the girl, particularly so looking at her love story that was sinking! He laughed carelessly and waited to see a clear sky next morning.

A bright Sun shined on him and the clouds had finally died into the lake. Behind the tomb-hall, the lake flooded heavily as the wanderer bid his good-bye to the blind man. ‘Please find someone for my daughter’ he reminded and the wanderer nodded at her. I’ll be back he meant.

Only two buildings seemed visible from the tomb-hall as he walked his way back towards the town - the cave-house, which he desperately wanted to get back to and the rich man’s villa that now looked all the more haunting. I have tricked a powerful man. Did he visit the sanyasin next day? Or did the rains stop anything from happening? What do I have there when I get back? He posed innumerable questions, speculated, imagined and dreamt of what might have transpired in his absence during the past week or so. He had lost his touch with the calendar unable to recharge the dying batteries of his gadgets. The blind man had mentioned some lunar day that sounded worthless to him. ‘What a world!’ he exclaimed and paused outside the entrance of the cave-house.

As he composed himself, the small boy ran into him and asked many questions, searched his bag and got hooked on to a device that looked amazing. He saw the boy’s eyes brighten instantly. ‘It can talk to you and even obey your orders’, he said. ‘No, it’s a mini computer. Don’t try to fool me. I’ll get it recharged’, argued the boy and left him. The wanderer felt pleasured at the little boy’s knowledge and thanked the crooked parents of the rich man at the villa for not sending him to any school. He walked his way in.

His eyes looked for one woman whom he wanted to meet badly. He crawled inside the cave realizing she couldn’t be seen outside anywhere. The chilling wind once again felt familiar, dragging and calling. He was dissolved in its fragrance and the hymns of the sanyasin got him easily captivated and hypnotized.

She was deep into her meditation. None could ever disturb her and he didn’t try either. He waited patiently as she resisted further for some more time. She finally opened her bright eyes. For once, they reminded him of the early morning.

Like those dark clouds that felt proud and thought of having won the battle with him before he emerged from behind, eating them all and that he would arrive one day. All the illusion they had will be descending on his arrival. The eyes had opened and the Sun had smiled. Smiles that were contagious enough to get the wanderer bonded.

She walked out and he followed her like a disciple. She sat on one of the muddy steps and he went on to explain.

‘I’m really sorry. I went to the tomb-hall behind the lake. And I was stuck with this unending rain.’

‘Everything has a reason, and I’m glad you were there’, she comforted him.

‘I thought you might be sad, even angry at my sudden absence. Did you not think I had gone forever?’ he questioned.

‘No, you’re far from leaving’, she was most certain.

‘So you exactly know when I’m going to leave this place. Don’t you?’

She smiled and said, ‘It’s your decision. Not mine’

‘But you seem to know’

‘You won’t be happy to know. There’s something else that I have for you. I thought you would be keen, but you seem to conceal. Don’t you have many other questions to ask? Why do you deviate?’ she spoke his mind and left him speechless.

‘You ask my questions and even answer them’ he said softly.

The lady looked still, unaffected, calm, and peaceful. Is this an enlightenment, wondered the wanderer!

Continues…