View of ParkView

Started off with my cam... the first victim was this tower built last night in celebration of (what!?)... ehem... life actually ;)

When I start I want my memory card to be full... so there you go...

Xmas Tree as I come out of the lift...!

I can't fail to notice the painting on the wall as I walk along...

Count the number of leaves here and you win a spcl prize ;)

Tried for a real nice pic, but failed :(

look at these thumb-sized creatures... True beauty is free of cost!






And this is one of those smallest flowers which stand united...
I tried getting close to their unity!




The Unity is shown bigger than everything else in this photo...


This is how we welcome our guests :-)

And also say good-bye!

Harbor Front Revisited...

Starting off to the harbor front... as we wait for the MRT, I had to quickly shoot it before packing my camera to get in!

Vivo City, the biggest shopping mall of Singapore...

This is a mini lake for kids (incl me) to play

One such playground in the middle of Vivo City



This is the view of a Ship standing at harbor front... I've been seeing this ship stagnant for past few months :)



This is the biggest christmas tree built in Singapore

You guessed it, they arent real

A close look ...

Place where we relax after a hectic day @ work

I’m Hopeless…!

‘You hopeless fellow’, my dad used to call me when he disliked my shabbiness as a child. Now I’m a different person but still hopeless…

Like certain other words in the English dictionary I’ve a problem or two with this word as well –‘HOPE’.

I hope I’ll get my dream job…
I hope we’ll meet sometime in the future…
I hope I get well soon…
I hope India will be a developed country by 2020…
I hope, I hope and I hope…

Hope also means desire, trust, optimism etc. Fine, but it also comes with a sense of negativity or fear of insecurity or unseemliness of something. We say we hope for something when we are uncertain of its happening. Like above, when you break up with your love you end up saying ‘I hope we’ll be friends, or hope we’ll meet sometime in the future’ means that you’re not sure. Why don’t you put it as ‘I’m sure we’ll be friends and I’m sure we’ll meet sometime in the future?’ Similarly the following…

I’m sure I’ll get my dream job…
I’m sure I’ll get well soon, i.e. tomorrow…
I’m sure India will be a developed country before 2020…
I’m sure, I know, I’m confident…

All these replacements for the word ‘hope’ bring in lot more positive-ness to things we do. Its more than just being hopeful, it’s about being certain and determined of what we do and confident of what we get i.e. the results! Are we not doing anything and everything to achieve something? Then why are we only hopeful and why not SURE? Because we’re scared to make such declarations. If I come out and say I’ll win a gold medal in tomorrow's event everyone’s watching to see if I really win and if I don’t there you go… see that overconfident ass, he thinks he’s a winner! But no one talks about the belief and confidence I carried with me. If it repeats again, then my self confidence is broken into hopes…!

So I don’t care, do we need to care about who’s going to pull us if we fail and become diplomatic and lead a politically correct hopeful life? I prefer being hopeless…

Yes dad, you were right and I’m born hopeless!

~Adieu

July 31st...!

It was a cheerful morning… when sun was on time and sky looked only blue! Such mornings instantly got me up before my alarm rung. As usual, after a morning jog and ready-to-eat rotis I pressed my 1 month old Arrow shirt that nearly matched my skin color. With a big smile I waved at the deaf walls of the living room as the door closed by.

20seconds and 10 floors deeper, I walked past the water fall at the entrance of the apartment. Someone had opened the gate and I stepped out briskly without noticing this unusual scene. A dog was all alone outside the gate…

It wasn’t a stray dog and looked rather beautiful to be homeless. As I turned back, my 20th smile for the morning had flashed! Such a cute doggy, I thought and was hurrying towards the bus-stop. But I wasn’t alone as the dog started taking my path and as I reached the bus-stop, it stood beside me. Everyone was almost staring as if I had brought my pet without tying it. But it wasn’t my dog, why had it come along with me!? Did I know her…!? She was the same Pomeranian… a huge resemblance!

Two years ago on the same day in a different country, Roxy fell sick on a similar morning and I had no time to take her for treatment. After few hours while I was still at work, I got a call from home… ‘Roxy is no more’ told my mother. And I almost cursed her for breaking such a bad news, but being the culprit I sunk in at the pantry all alone! Without tears I cried for the whole evening at the pantry and as I got another call asking me to come home soon, I refused to see my Roxy buried and decided not to go at all… ‘I don’t want to see her’ I whispered on phone.

It was almost 10 in the night when I dared to go upstairs where Roxy dwelled for the past 9years and the terrace looked empty without even the sound of her breath or the cheer of her run! There was only one sound… weeping of my self!

Today on the 31st July, she had come back thousands of miles to remind me. I instantly felt like taking her in my arms and my bus had come to pick me. With tears, I boarded and until the last glimpse I saw her seeing me… are you Roxy I asked!

Sometimes your questions are unanswered and that’s the wisest reply he chooses… I wish there were times for confessions too!

I Await…!

Yesterday we met for the last time…
And ya know I’ve lost all that was mine!
There hasn’t been a moment without your thoughts since then…
You’ve left a body whose soul isn’t just fine!

I write and don’t wanna read to you…
I sing and don’t wanna devote to you…
For my poems might cry and my songs would die,
If you walk away like you did once while!

It’s gonna be a decade since I first saw you…
Ah Fate! Today, I mourn without you…
You’re in heavens where my flowers would be sent
With your smiles they would dissipate and I wait…
Until I’m taken to you, the heavens I await… … …

Just Smile...!

Just smile, wherever you are… you smile!
Like a ray you kiss my nail… and smile!
And your joy in my soul I hear…
For my nerves tell me you’re here…

Often it happens… when I think of you I’m blurred!
In my senses is your fragrance… that gets me stirred!
In your eyes, some magic lies… just smile!
Wherever you are… you smile!

For winds breathe harder, hide me beneath your arm!
In the beauty of your eyes’ lullaby, I lay warm!
In your eyes, I perish… and just smile!
Wherever you are… you smile!


PS: I was too inspired by 'Tu Muskura'...

Main Main Main hoo Yuvvraaj...!

Well, I’ve not written any review on any music before. Whenever the tunes of Rang De Basanti played I wanted to write, but here I’m hooked on after nearly 3yrs!

Taal being one of the most melodious albums ever made in Indian cinema, I was more than disappointed with rest of Mr. Ghai’s releases until this one. There was no news about this album and ARR once said in an interview about the music of Yuvvraaj, ‘Just wait and watch!’ hmm… there must be something really special about it, I knew!

It starts off with Salman Khan’s rendition with Beethoven’s in the background. A perfect start to the album with Salman Khan’s distinct accent… not American not British, its Sallu’s own!

Then the 1st song of the album kicks off with Benny Dayal’s high notes followed by western-mode chorus. Gulzar’s presence is felt with ‘main jaagta rehta hoo neend bhari jheel si aankhon mein’ Even before Shreya Ghoshal starts, you’ll start humming. There’s a never-heard-before kind of ARR’s appearance which fades in a few seconds! And you’ll love it… well, expectations are set quite high!

Next song starts with your foot tapping right away! Though I felt ‘Shano Shano’ is done with quite an average melody, Sonu Nigam comes as a soothing refresher. Gulzar again keeps you wondering with ‘apno se mat uljho tum ghaironki baat par’. Well, I would’ve loved it if this song was 2 minutes shorter. This song gently reminds you of ‘chori pe chori’ from Saathiyaa and towards the end more like ‘Baazi laga’ from Guru. An average dance number hopefully with some excellent choreography…

Hmm, one good song and one average number! What’s next? The soulful song of the album…

Right from the 1st note of this five and a half minute journey is something you’ll cherish for long time. Alka Yagnik has outdone herself & Javed Ali whose ‘Jashn-e-bahara’ still echoes is fabulous in this one. Be it heavy duty violins or alaps ‘Tu Muskura’ is a clear winner! With lines like ‘Tez chalti hai hawavon ki saasein’ – Gulzar is again at his creative best! As this song gets better, the final aalap ends with your Goosebumps on! 10 on 10… if ‘Ae Ajnabi’ was my most favorite, I rate this the 2nd best! Alka, you take away the best singer award this year!

Now, it’s only a pity for ‘Mastam Mastam’. I wonder who will like this kind of a song! It reminds me heavily of an already forgotten ARR’s number from One2ka4 which was ‘Alley Alley’. This song is definitely more situational with weird noises and incomprehensible pen of Gulzar. Ghai can only hope people would love the visuals and let Gulzar explain what are hastam, shustam and sustam!

Srinivas who’s another underrated talent soothes with ‘Zindagi Zindagi, kya kami rehgayi’. Wish he had more numbers in Hindi. I must say the 2nd line of pallavi gets its beats from ‘Lukka Chuppi’ (Rang De). You may choose to ignore because it’s the maestro’s own composition. A decent number!

Next comes the lengthiest track of the album… 7minutes – ‘Dil Ka Rishta’. This was the 1st tune I saw on trailers and got glued to my keyboard until I played it. A very simple tune made into a jingle of western and classical extravaganza! This one’s meant to be played in the movie like ‘Ishq bina kya jeena’ in Taal as a climax song, so expected to be the best of the lot. And yes, it is… with huge contributions right from Roop kumar Rathod, Sonu Nigam and the maestro himself doing an unusual sargam. The English lyrics in the song induce quite some sentiments… ‘Passion, aggression… can I leave it somewhere!’ Gulzar gives his best to match Ghai’s philosophy… this song comes with more memorable lines ‘sar pe agar dhoop na ho, saaya utarta nahi… rishte bina hai jiss tarah saaye bina aadmi… tu palke utta tho zara, rishton ki roshni tho ho!’ etc etc…
There’s so much about this track that you’ll love and might take it as your favorite number!

‘Manmohini Morey’… I’ve frankly never liked mixing a Hindustani classical with jingles and techno beats. But when the maestro’s done it, it’s gotta be good. Wherever he found this guy Vijay Prakash (Saregamapa Alumni) and gave him a song like he did for Sukhwinder Singh (chayya chayya)!! There's a blend of 'Manmohini' mixed with the tunes of ‘Tu Muskura’ so perfectly and you’ll not stop smiling. Creativity at its best!

The last track of the album is the least I liked. You might not agree, but the only good thing about this remixed version of ‘Shaano Shaano’ is Salman’s bad guy voice and some peppy English lyrics like ‘Please me, don’t you want my room keys… I’m the Casanova’ Goes well with Sallu’s so called image. You may tap your foot here and there in those 2minutes and that’s it!

So that was Yuvvraaj! 3 cheers to the trio of ARR, Ghai and Gulzar saab. They make this album a memorable and a soulful creation… play it in loop and hey, you might get addicted and infected by a virus out of ARR’s soul!

P.S.: Sorry, I’m not interested in rating this album unlike other reviewers.

Singer...

It was Class V - Hindi class and Miss Gulnaz Begum had arrived a little late while children waited with pin-drop silence! It was unusual for her to be so late and when she was finally in, her poise and energy quickly transformed into the whole class.

‘Today I’m not taking any class. Let’s have fun!’

‘Each of you will stand up and tell me what you would want to become when you grow up…’

The first benchers were first to start. Being neither a first nor a last bencher, I stood up on my turn and without a thought I said, ‘I want to become a singer’ to which everyone laughed. And that day Miss Begum named me ‘Singer’…

As days passed, it vaguely remained in my memory and though I never sung anything in front of anyone I was permitted to join a famous music class near my house while I was in class 8. My interest towards the music grew over the period of time and had safely neglected studies believing I’m going towards what I dreamt of! But the truth wasn’t very easy to digest…

It was one such day in the music class when everyone had to render a solo song. For past 6 months I had avoided this ‘once in a fortnight’ session but not that day. When my turn had come, I went up to the microphone and swallowed my lyrics! Few 10s of people sitting in front of me made me more nervous than I had imagined! It was an impossible moment that brought fear in me which I had never felt… I ran away from the dais and went out of the class… I was never let in after that!

It kept haunting me and I never attempted singing for many years. My life continued like any other ordinary kid's and there wasn’t a minute trace of my dream in my mind until one night…

I was one of the thousands of participants at the Indian Idol show and my song had impressed the judges. Later I went on to make it to the top10 and public voting always voted me the most favorite! I went on to win the title and then there was no stopping…

…until I opened my eyes! That’s why they say fairy tales exist only in dreams. So I ignored it until another night 30 years later…

It was in one of my visits abroad and in a conference where Miss Gulnaz Begum was seated next to me. She was the very same charming lady that she always was and smiled at me like I was still a school boy! As the conference continued, Miss Begum and I had stuck a conversation as if there was no one else in the room…

‘How are you madam?’

‘I’m good and how are you ‘Singer’?’

I didn’t say anything. She continued…

I woke up again to realize that the traces were still there in my mind and started thinking about that day in class-V and the day in music class. Those 2 were the most contrasting days of my life… while one opened doors to a dream, the other closed them.

I decided to quit my job and went back to the same music school. My teacher’s photo was hung on a wall and kept teasing me of the day when I ran away. The fortnight tradition still continued in the school and my fortnight had come back after 35years!!!

I held the microphone and closed my eyes and there were two people in front of me - Miss Gulnaz Begum and my music teacher. One asked me to stay on and the other asked me to sing. Without moving my lips I let the throat free and a strange voice broke into the auditorium. It was strange because I heard it sing for the first time on a microphone. It echoed, soothed and sprang! When the voice stopped, I opened my eyes and all hands joined to applaud loud and hard! With wet eyes I stood and again only two moments in the 50 long years of my life re-appeared…

There are those 2 moments in our lives… one opens the door to our dreams and the other closes. If you chose to, you can bring back one of these like I did!

-Singer

No man's land...!

For many years I lived in a state of remoteness and had survived in a world that belonged to nobody. You may call it ‘no man’s land’ where no human being ever stayed or lived with another. Even if you saw someone it was mostly in your dreams and none in reality… a world of all creatures of god except one… The Human!

Though I very much belonged to the normal world and was brought up like everyone else there was an assignment like the one that Lord Ram was given. But the condition being I go to ‘no man’s land’ alone. I wandered everywhere and saw lot many things and for a while, I was very excited! I talked a lot to myself high and loud, and felt as if there was someone with me… of course it was my soul. Days passed and months stretched with very little indifference! But there was one spot which I always went to again and again…

It was a little pond that I rushed so often. The water slept still in this pond and reflected the blue sky very well. Carefully standing on a stone placed with so much difficulty in the middle of the pond I looked down. I looked down concentrating on the water surface below and was bending to the extent I could. I was curious to see how I looked and what had changed in me!

Having not seen myself in the mirror for last few months I was worried if my face looked dull or if I lost more hair! This was an exercise that I was trying for so long but didn’t quite succeed in seeing myself completely and bugged of it I quit to come back all over once again just in a while. It’s so difficult to live in such a blind world where you cannot see yourself! You may loose your eyes one day and probably not see any of your loved ones but you cannot live another day without seeing yourself!

It made me think about those primitive days when man had not yet discovered mirrors or objects to reflect his image. But there were other people in whose eyes man first saw himself! Humans … they were made with each other and they were made for each other not against or different from each other as being perceived. We only talk about oneness but actions don’t reflect this belief. A Pakistani treats an Indian differently and a north Indian to a south Indian and a tamilian to a malayali and a neighbor to you. Were we not all one? Or at least we say so on a national day or a world earth day etc…!

All such thoughts crossed my mind when I couldn’t see even a single human not even myself in such a big world! The water didn’t show me ‘myself’ rightly, may be my neighbor did which I never realized or accepted! I prayed this time would pass by and I get to see all my brothers and sisters… we all don’t live in no man’s land but we act as if we did!

Why?

Speech'less'…!

‘Raffles Place’ was where she was supposed to get down when she boarded the heavily crowded MRT on a Saturday noon. Her red suit and a disco belt across sleek waist added to her striking feature. Struggling to get to the other end of the door she got my eyes piercingly focused on her moves. I stood resting on the closed doors to the other end of exit as she embraced the iron pillar somewhere in the crowd. The train started to move…

She turned around to find my constant stare and looked straight into my eyes while I looked away. Seconds later I was naturally diverted to see where she was now seeing and precisely that’s when she again looked straight. It was also a staring glare! This eye in eye out happened for a while. As the train crossed stations people were getting off and most of the seats were empty to occupy. I never moved from where I stood and looked at the iron pillar which was embraced by lovely arms. Sometimes a pillar is luckier…!

She had turned backwards and bent a little to set her hair at her delicate best. But the attention was flowing both ways and each was busy with the other than oneself! I smiled without expression and didn’t know what she was feeling or doing. Probably we both knew our stations had crossed over but stood still in the moving train…

Just in a while the train had reached its last destiny and those 40 minutes seemed like 4 seconds. We had to get down and walk up to the escalator where I stood next to her and those 40 minute old gestures didn’t change. We had walked out of the MRT station and were at the traffic light while she started walking to the red light. While I saw the red light I was already in the middle of the road. A speeding car rushed and rode into us in a jiffy…!

I was hit badly and was almost unconscious even as a huge crowd gathered around me like I was a celebrity! I was rushed to the hospital and I didn’t know how badly I was hurt. After a few hours and post operation I opened my eyes to see my panicking friends and smiled at them.

‘How are you feeling?’
I threw a feel-good smile back at them.

‘Why did you walk against the signal?’ one of them asked.

The answer was not easy for me to compose and as I turned to my right I saw a girl dressed in red on the next bed. She turned to me once again and I winked! She stretched her hand on which I breath my last!

I had not spoken to my wife for past 10 days and we accidentally met today at the MRT. We didn’t want to go our own ways like we had thought 10days ago and both waited until the other spoke, which never happened…

Eternal …!

The first drop of monsoon had fallen some days ago and the trees never dried after that. This was a never ending season of showers with only difference being the amount of liters it poured! Sometimes the clouds did give way to dearly moon and it was one such night when the moon shined at her glorious best reflecting each drop that rained down. From a point below the banyan tree the leaves managed to look green like it was a bright sunny day! As her eyes rolled over from one corner of the sky to the other standing beneath the banyan tree that sheltered her for past few hours, she pictured the droplets that fell at the tail of innumerous lightening!

Whether she cried or the rain-gods did, she didn’t know! She was drenched like a duck and the sari stuck to her sleek tender body like petals to a flower! Each droplet at the tip of her eyelash resembled the morning mist on the tiny leaves! Her red lips turned crimson due to long cleansing! It was difficult on that rainy night to say if the glorious most was she or the moon! She sometimes stood still and for a while walked… the walk turned nearly into a vibrant motion. For the tunes of falling drops and ice mass she danced into pleasure. She moved on the grass bed with open arms as she reminded him of a peacock!

It was a wait that brought her every night onto the banyan tree where they had danced, chatted, made love and rested on each other’s shoulders. It was a wait that told her he would come… without knowing anything about his whereabouts she waited blindly for many months. Each night different and each wait was fresh as she smiled at far off distance as though she saw him. It was a gesture of being teased by him that she threw!

After pouring for so many days it was an unusual scene for her to feel the mute night for the rains had stopped! All of a sudden it looked scary and she hid herself beneath the rock bench down the tree. Only interruption to the silence was her brisk breaths until those footsteps that were growing into her ears…

Someone was walking down to her and her lips broadened with a mild smile. Hopes multiplied and heartbeat was faster and she was nodding as if welcoming the walker! As he approached the bench, he stood beneath the banyan tree and uncovered his flute. With a mere contented feel he whistled the flute gently once. This time the lightening was in her nerves!

He blew the second time and her hand had moved by itself. There was a third blow when she stretched her leg. The fourth blow was accompanied by the resonance of her bangles. Next few blows over the flute had brought her to a world of euphony… immersed in his flute he never stopped and she had picked up a quixotic dance! Both were going around the banyan tree without a glimpse of each other…

She almost fell in his arms as he held his flute away! It was an embrace that was long waiting!

‘I knew you would come back…’ she whispered.

‘I’ve come to say good-bye’ he countered her thoughts.

‘I’m going away and to marry another girl…’

She was now one foot away and for the first time their eyes met. She swallowed all that she wanted to say and he posed a warming smile. The distance started growing as they walked unconsciously, away from each other. The mammoth banyan tree stood there as the symbol of an eternal love that kept growing with the distance and the night had sunk in hell for her!

Radha was never made for him. And Krishna was meant for someone else…

Sunday…!

Week after week once again one more Sunday arrived quite fast and this is one day everyone wishes to see soon and never wants to see off… I got up quite late and the mind was programmed to have the feel that it’s a Sunday! How well! You know it’s Sunday when the weather is calm, roads look open and free, little ones busy dragging their parents out and of course you get up very late. When I got up it was late morning and early noon and sun was right on top of my roof.

There was a missed call from folks last night at1:30am! Oops… for a moment I was scared to see why they would call so late but quickly realized that it was only 11pm back home. How much I wish if all of us on earth lived on a single time zone! However, there’s still an advantage for this time difference. My travel time is shortened. While it takes 7hrs from my house, it only takes 2hrs to go back! Superb! It gets me excited since I’m traveling very soon :)

Then there was a message from good ol’ friend saying there’s no mood to go out today and we may not meet up. Well, that’s a typical Sunday… you’re so lazy and wish everything just stays on and nothing moves on. But then I had to buy stuffs for coming week and was pushing myself to go out. And then it had started raining cats and dogs! I just opened my windows and was enjoying the rain while I ordered for onion rings from McD. Then I searched for some movies online when I caught up with ‘purab aur pachchim’ on youtube. Well I couldn’t watch the whole movie because the rain had stopped and I had to go out. While I bought a few stuffs I realized I had missed buying some only when I reached home :(

Then there was washing of clothes and a stroll at the condo later in the evening. Phone calls back home and I saw the moon replacing a bright Sunday! It was only on Sundays when I hated to see moon while on others day I waited to see her! So another Sunday was coming to an end bringing a whole new week. However few things do cross my mind…

A morning that starts with Rangoli and a cup of coffee on bed,
Special breakfast with mom and dad
Sometimes guests to visit and regional movie in the noon
Some precious time spent with all at home
Spider man in the evening and no homework today
A big evening and a long day… that’s why I love you Sunday!

Sandwich…

One more time on the same road on another day I ran onto an ordinary cloudy morning! It wasn’t any different and had now become more of a routine, so I was at ease. But the lady with her dog again banged at me. It so happened that every morning when I take my turn at the tennis court she would come by the other end and we bang! Wow, its amazing… I meant the timing! Not once, not twice, many times. How do such things happen!? First time I said sorry but from next time we just smiled at each other and there was a sense of surprise on both faces… or may be even on her doggy’s face!

So many faces had grown familiar and it had almost started like feeling at home. This is a very unusual feeling for people like me. They always complain of wanting to be at home, while others make the place they live their home! All these apart, I kept running and thoughts didn’t stop… they were running faster than me…

This was a phase when I was sandwiched between right and wrong! When I say I want to take revenge, how far am I sure that the other person deserves to be deserted? When I say I commit, how far is the other person loyal? When I truly believe you how far are you honest even with yourself? Last night I didn’t want to sleep when I was looking for one such answer and went down to the kid’s park where I was on the mini sea-saw. I played alone and was going up and coming down rolled into my own question bank! I left the sea-saw balanced but it never stayed… it would either swing to the right or to the left. While I walked past away from it, the left had become right!

Today however I’m happy to see this ordinary and usual morning because I’ve grown into them and like them this way! And my abs were showing good signs of pride to run harder and farther. The return trip was always a walk and again the trees were bowing down… I rushed into the swimming pool and was tired as I walked into the kitchen for my ready to eat sandwiches ;)

While winning gold medal was so delighting, series loss was disappointing… the critics had gathered for another right or wrong session…!

At the Harbor Front…

Ever shining water few feet beneath from where I sit,
Red clouds leaving only a small little window on the big wide sky for a full moon to peep,
Snail paced mini ships nearby and cable cars away,
A few lost lovers in their own world while kids made it their playground,
With a cold café latte in hand, the giant Merlion facing me is where I sit…

It was another Friday! Another weekend was arriving and probably for the first time this afternoon I felt it was still a Thursday! Most often I hate it to go back home on a Friday evening like I do every other evening… it’s an occasion to celebrate, its time to chill and rock on! But you know sometimes you are left with yourself while your neared ones are in a different world and a different world is near you…

I decided to come to this place which had grown a favorite hangout of mine apart from the lovely East Coast Park! Probably because I love to see as much open sky as land which I get here… senior citizens were busy dancing at the entrance, two trains always moved one towards and one back from the Sentosa Island. There’s a view of sky tower from where you get glimpses of Malaysia and Indonesia and don’t know what else! One decorated ferry always poses for visitors… ‘Happy National Day, Singapore’… it read (which is of course tomorrow)! The biggest company in Singapore who’s also my client occupies the port to the other end. It feels good that I nearly completed the infrastructure setup for them today and that’s not really the reason for being contented…

Though this week started off with a shocker of my life time (I really need another big blog to explain this) I didn’t give any damn and life for me from this point looked just ‘cooler’ than ever before! Failures or loses don’t come to make us cry… they just come to see what we do with them! I learnt to play with them and embrace them… I hope I always do…

So the very next day something miraculous was waiting to happen as my orkut’s fortune of the day foresaw! Well I don’t believe in all these… but I do secretly peep into the orkut’s fortune because it never says anything negative and whatever positive it reads makes you feel more optimistic for a while! So this was another ordinary phase but it looks to me more special, may be because I looked at it with cheer!

Very soon I picked my cellphone and called up few dear friends… at the end of all those 5 or 6 calls my happy mood turned happier! Such is the friendship’s charm! (I need another blog to write on this one too)

When I smiled at that little one she looked happy,
The small cute boy came to me with a toffee…
It’s all so bright and colorful
Life from here looks just wonderful
Come, join and celebrate…
For a small grin you don’t have to wait… its harbor front mate :)

w h a t s t h a t . . . !

I n t h e n i g h t w h e n i t w a s n t d a r k ,
O n a d a y w h e n i t d i d n t g l o w ,
Y o u k n o w w h a t w a s w r o n g ?

L i k e a s l e e p w i t h n o d r e a m s ,
L i k e a w o u n d w i t h n o c u t s ,
Y o u k n o w w h a t t h a t w a s ?

A n d a d e a d l y l o n e r w i t h w r e t c h e d s o u l
W h e n I w r o t e w i t h o u t m y h e a r t
Y o u l l k n o w w h a t w a s w r o n g a n d I w o n t s a y w h a t t h a t w a s!

Good Morning!

Another day woke me up from my bed early in the morning and the first wish for the morning was reserved to my new gang of friends who always stayed with me quite close by. With a gentle smile I opened my eyes and they were right by my side dancing to welcome me for a whole new day. They were 100 plus feet and tall enough to peep in my windows. I nearly whispered ‘Good Morning’ and they bowed down to acknowledge outside my window along the roadside!

It was time for an early morning jog and I liked to be on road while there were less vehicles. Few others who had grown up with discipline came out jogging at the nature reservoir a few miles away from where I stayed. Each was a stranger to the other but when someone smiles at you, you would naturally smile at them! Like a celebrity would to the paparazzi, I smiled at everyone on my way. It was as much of an exercise to my facial muscles as much to the rest of the body!

There was one special person who always greeted me after I first wished her ‘Good Morning’. She never said good morning to me but replied in her way… ‘Zao an’ and we exchanged few more smiles before walking our own ways. There was some warmth in it and the smiles had multiplied. An old man who never said good morning to me used to say, ‘Selamat pagi’.

The nature reservoir looked full of life and a life full of smiles. It was a place where strangers met every morning to just smile at each and wish good morning in their own languages. It was where I realized the importance of celebration of each day and each new morning. ‘You don’t really need to know anyone and you don’t really need reasons to smile’, the old man always said in a language that I didn’t know but whose meaning I very well knew!

It’s late now and I sleep before it’s too late…
I wake up early to meet my unknown mates…
They would come down to wish me and I’ll no more wait…
It’s going to be a new day again, so keep wishing … Good Morning!

Search…!

Once upon a time, the world was dark and the stars didn’t shine. Moon had slept for long time and the sun never rose. Time was moving but the world didn’t. Half world was awake while the other half slept. There were only nights, long and dreaded nights that never seemed to end…

He lived in a jungle because he liked the soft walk on dead leaves and fragrance of unseen flowers and also bats’ singing! He walked nonstop and never rested anywhere. He was on a journey and knew that there was no stopping until he found what he wanted. It was something that no one ever sold and no one ever purchased something that wasn’t free nor was too expensive! It had no definition and no form. He knew all these but was in search of its origin.

While walking on soft leaves seemed good, he felt after a while that there was something else that was better. He knew he had to get rid of these leaves beneath before finding that something better. He walked faster and there was a wooden bridge he had heard of which hung a few miles away. After walking faster and running harder he found the wooden bridge approaching. He smiled and felt relieved of those millions of dead leaves on which he had walked for so many days. The wooden bridge was readily set for his new journey!

As he walked on the bridge, there were nails that had grown upwards sometimes piercing into his legs and he screamed out of pain. ‘Ah! Why am I walking on this wood’, he cried! The leaves were better than this hard wood and never seemed to hurt me so much even when I walked on them, he thought. The journey on the wooden bridge wasn’t very pleasant and he was expecting something better would come on his way. For long time, there was nothing that had come his way. He had heard someone say that the best walk would be on sand and went in search of sand. He knew that a journey on sand would mean a full-stop to his miseries and he would no more need to find anything else to walk on. So he knew his mission… it was sand!

On his way he saw a sand route just a little away, but not everyone was allowed to walk in. Only few people walked on it and were treated with importance. ‘You’ve to be an important and well deserving person to walk on it’ he thought. He was denied an entry and he tried to find another route to the sand road. After a few tries and retries he was finally allowed in. It was like a heavenly feeling for him to have achieved his goal of walking on the sand and he was on cloud 9. He felt a sense of pride and was patting his own shoulder for what he had got for himself. The journey had begun and seemed very beautiful.

After sometime it started raining and the sand turned dirty. There were pits here and there and it was tough for him to walk. His legs were dirty and he could not clean himself. How it would be on wood when it rains, he wondered. How better it was on the leaves, he recollected. Remembering his journey brought tears and he looked for ways to get out of the sand before which a lightning flashed!

‘What do you want?’ it asked.

‘I want something that no one ever sold and no one ever purchased something that wasn’t free nor was too expensive! It has no definition and no form. I want to know its origin’ he said instantly.

‘You mean you want a journey on sand?’

‘No’

‘You want a journey on wood?’

‘No’

‘Is it on leaves?’

‘No’

‘Is it on something else?’

‘Yes’

‘Content is the word you are looking for!’ and it disappeared.

Yes, indeed it was 'content'. But why wasn’t it seen or found anywhere though I went from one place to the other he was questioning the lightening. There was no reply…

Without questioning anymore and without bothering to change his journey he continued walking on the sand. He ignored the dirt it had and tried not to compare his earlier journeys with this one and kept walking. The sand had started to dry down. The dawn was about to be born and fresh sunrays had taken all the dirt out of the sand. It was a bright morning and he smiled again. He walked with joy and there was no need of any other journey because the search was over and he had found what he wanted. He knew he would carry it with him forever from now on.

The nights had gone and the world saw brightness for the first time. Dark tress looked green and brown while beasts on the tress smiled down. He acknowledged and the smile reached smiling sun!

Just like that…!

Blossom oh dear friend of life, like a flower!
Don’t let the flower in the name of love wither!
Let the feelings be in heart…
Let the music be mute…
Just like that…!

Bird sings without revealing,
Jasmine smacks without questioning!
Blowing wind and the birds' song connect without naming!
Why do we care? Oh friend, let's not name it…
Just like that…!

Feelings far above the words have more meaning!
A lovely heart never gets distressing!
Despite digress, the moon walks with us…
I'll see you in him!
Let this weave remain, oh friend…
Just like that…!

This one's a tribute to 'araLuthiru jeevada geLeya' from mungaru maLe. Deep thinking and simple writing... hats off to Jayant & Yograj!

The Greatest Truth…

And the words were ordinary than they had ever been! He did not understand a single word for the first time. They understood every unspoken and unintended gesture of one another for the past so many years. This was for the first time and he was uncertain of what was going on and had lost complete control of his ‘self’. Sometimes you have to await your answers and he knew it very well. But to err is human and to be impatient is arien who he was. With a peg of vodka in hand he stuck glued to the large glass window watching wide big sky with clouds here and there…

‘Ok, I gotta go’ she said and left without his consent. May be she was going away for one last time and had no other way to come back. Or may be she’s waiting to be asked to come back. Or may be it’s all over. May be you need to move on in life without waiting for things that you’re not sure of getting. Hundreds of such ‘may be’s were going on and he had not sipped anything as yet. May be it was my mistake, he thought once for a millisecond. But no, logically I’m right. Even if I throw this situation to my closest of friends to my all-time enemies they would say I’m right, he thought. I’m so much right, then why has she done this!

It was till late noon that he stood like a rock pillar never feeling the hunger or need to sip his 1st peg. The lines on forehead were becoming like permanent markings, eyebrows assumed ugly posture and eyes blinked more than usual. ‘What am I supposed to be doing for her mistake’, he asked. This was probably one of the first few questions and also probably one of the last few to be answered. Reasons are again perceptions, my own reasoning stands unreasonable if I turn the table for a while. If I can be so generous and so accommodative, why can’t she be?

It might be so easy for these crows and cuckoos that they never have to worry about various things unlike us. Can I be a crow or cuckoo as well and fly off to a completely different world of mine where I care about no one, not even her! Can I just be with myself and not for anybody else! Can I be empty! Yes, may be its practical. That’s what some of the saints do. They leave and live.

Such arguments were never new to any human mind, nor was there an end. There was only a beginning; a little ignition was enough. While he stood there desperately waiting for an answer, ready to take a decision and ready to leave the bell rang! It could be her?

‘Sir there was a big accident and your car is smashed. And your wife is…’ the man paused. He ran out and didn’t take the elevator, had climbed down 10 floors with heaviest heart he ever had. Now none of the questions were valid, no answer held importance. I need to see her, I need to see her alive. He did not notice he was crying until he hugged her while she stood waiting for him in the lobby.

‘I wanted to see the real you’, she said.

‘Thanks for showing me as well’

The greatest truth...

...are the simplest!

Passion...!

A silent moon or an unheard tune…
A treasury flower or a heavenly glow…
You’re creator’s passion!

A morning or a silky cloud…
Are you the summer’s cold!
Like dawn’s first ray, like a dwindling wave…
You spread all fragrance vary away!

Unspoken eyes forever…
Your words bore a hearty prayer!
While you run in my veins, how can you be far!
Oh dear…
You’re creator’s passion!

Me n My Madness – X

I was startled, perplexed and what not! I didn’t have to give my answer… everyone with common sense had sensed it. My madness had done something that wasn’t in my wildest of imaginations. But hey hold on, I said to myself. Is it real?

‘It’s a mega-project and I decided to pull you in after I saw your dance movements the other day. Your expressions could be something best suited for this role.’ Priya was the first creature of god who praised me ever. It was kind of weird and I felt she was bluffing!

‘You’ll know more about it later! Now you guys get your snacks.' She seemed very busy and pinched my chin as an indication of good luck! I didn’t believe in this luck factor throughout my life may be because I never experienced it myself. But this one made feel lucky… I had to be… otherwise how would I land up in something like this? I wanted to hug my madness.

This was a mega-budget series which involved lot of big names in the cine industry. Lots of recognizable faces were moving around me and I felt a little out of place. Just one dialogue played in the back of my mind… “One day or the other Life takes a U turn”

Yes, I said without realizing it was loud enough!

‘What can you give me for this?’ my madness asked.

‘But how did you come to know? Who brought you here? What’s this serial called? What about the crew?’ I asked endless questions and before she answered me there was Priya once again with us.

‘Do you have passport?’ she asked me in a hurry and worried almost expecting a no.

‘Yes’ I countered.

‘Oh, great! Then you can fly’ she had disappeared.

Fly to where? Are we going to Chennai or Mumbai? Or is it Delhi? I didn’t know and nor did my madness. The snacks I ate were tasteless, the drinks didn’t get past my throat… the cine girls didn’t attract me. I was about to faint!

‘One formal screening before we book your tickets. You need to grow your beard and shave your mustache.’ Priya ordered.

‘But where are we going?’ my voice nearly faded.

‘Singapore… ‘

To be continued…

bIzaRrE…!

There have been times when I wanted to speak and had no one to talk to, I wanted to party and no one to accompany while there were others when I wanted to be alone but people were bugging and I wanted to sit and cry when everyone’s watching! When life gets complicated (like it always does) I try to make it look simple and when life just goes on simple terms I tend to find it boring and create more complications.

This ridicules me so much as it would someone else and I love to remain a confused and craving soul that I’ve always been. Being confused makes you think always and try out things that only existed in your wildest imaginations. One day I want to jump from my 10th floor and then fly from the ground. I’ve done it already in my mind and there are other things that did turn into reality. Like this crazy writing which only existed and kept crawling in my mind when I did hundred things in 100 seconds and now I put it on a paper. Did anyone ever fully understand the other?

Well sometimes there is no need to analyze simplest of things and try to find meaning out of it. A water fall is naturally beautiful, why do poets have to bind them in their 10s of lines? Anyone who sees can see…

Having said all of these without any purpose or without a waken mind I go back to sleep and hope I’ll arrange these jumbled sentences and words tomorrow to get something meaningful! Many a times meaningless and illogical and impractical bizarre tend to be next to you in real! That’s life and that’s truth… stranger than fiction!

Now I promise to get me n my madness in…

Me n My Madness – IX

It was during the winter holidays which got extended due to teacher’s strike when I was last allowed at my madness’ dwelling. The whole long day we used to sit and watch horror shows when she got scared and I used to laugh, played chess when she had only 2 moves before checkmate, played badminton when I loved rest of the crowd of my road. So studies could never make it to our agenda… poor teachers were on strike don’t know for what reason, but we loved the long holidays so much that we are now out of college for past 2 years!

It was one of those nights during those holidays when 3 of us were counting stars on the terrace… me n my madness and her Roxy! The cool breeze and Ricky Martin playing his cup of life out of my aiwa walkman had occupied our space. Those days I liked playing my mandolin and my madness wasn’t in a mood to listen.

‘You know what? I hate my dad’ she said.

‘Why? What happened now?’

‘He still wants me to read well’

‘But my mom is more unbearable…’

‘I don’t want to be an engineer or doctor’

‘Nor do I’

‘I want to become a heroine’ she said something without really thinking… as always!

‘And I want to be a villain’ I argued.

‘I’m serious you know? Riya’s mom knows a few people… can you accompany me tomorrow to the H N Hall?’
I thought she was blabbering but she was serious.

‘Ok but why?’

‘You’ll know…’

Later in the night I was thinking about the next day and couldn’t sleep well. Before I slept it was morning and she was calling my landline. Those 3 rings meant it was her. I wasn’t really interested but wanted to know what she was going to do. So I got up and had no time to get ready and rushed off! We were at the H N Hall…

Priya was an assistant director for a tele-serial and had promised my madness of a role. So we had gone with lots of hope.

‘Hey I’ve a role of a villain, would you be interested to do?’ Priya asked me while my madness blinked at me.



To be continued…

cOloRs oF mA LiFe

Smile Dream Sleep Yawn
Chill Sing Dance Rock n Roll
Wake Up Fly Run Jump Hog Blog
Create Narrate Discover Invent Achieve
Charm Attract Rule Lead Command
LIVE

Me n My Madness – VIII

I had run away from everyone to the safest place with one full pack Marlboro. It was on the top of my madness’ house. There were no stairs built but it was easy for any monkey to reach there. When she found me nowhere she knew where I was.

‘Give me one puff’

I didn’t speak.

‘You look like Johny Lever when you’re angry’

I couldn’t stop laughing. If not for her good humor she made everyone laugh at her PJs.

‘Do you think what you did yesterday was funny?’

‘Of course it was. Why are you so serious about that?’

‘Nothing’s serious. Leave me for a while’

It was a little harsh of me, but I had to scream. She was apparently disappointed and started crying… as always! Though I didn’t speak for sometime, I went to her and offered my hanky. She snatched the cigarette instead and started smoking. Whenever she smoke or rather tried to smoke she caught cough and fell ill. I was trying to stop her but she pressed the lit cigarette against my cheek. It was instantly burnt and looked red. Before I realized I was wounded she took my cheek by her tongue to make it cool. But it had turned more crimson may be because of her lipstick! I felt the chilling wave splash at once. She hadn’t stopped, thinking I was hurt badly… so she carried on with what she was doing just until I turned my cheek away from her lips to face her. It was the first time 4 eyes met not to fight, the lips did not yell at each other and we did not hate each other…

I moved a little ahead while she paused. I moved little more and she didn’t move. I moved little more when we were half a centimeter away and I stopped. The breaths were audible and the wind she blew met mine. She came forward and it was a gentle touch when Roxy came barking in. She moved away and took Roxy in her arms and kissed her with extreme love. I stayed looking on.

‘So you love Riya, right?’

‘hmm… yea, na… hmm … …’

‘You know what? I’m also in love.’

‘With whom?’

‘You know who it is, don’t you?’

‘hmmmmmmmm’

‘Yes, take the name…’

‘Your mom?’ I knew this was what she would always say.

‘Come on…’

‘Then who else?’

‘Roxy, idiot!’

Well that was my madness, kept me guessing, kept me thinking and left me confused. But I had come to a serious realization… you should not have 2 aims in life!



To be continued…

Me n My Madness – VII

As most of my friends would agree, I believed there were only 2 types of women – one beautiful and the other more beautiful until I saw this 3rd one… the most beautiful! With a silky black skirt a middle aged lady was standing outside. Without being surprised to see a boy and girl fallen down she came in laughing loud. I felt more embarrassed than Riya as she went on to hug her!

‘Are you alright?’ she asked me. I just nodded…

‘Hi, I’m Priya… Riya’s mom!’
Oops! I thought it was her sister!

‘Why are you surprised? Did you think I was her sister?’ she again laughed!
Another thing I didn’t know was older women read our minds like nursery rhymes!

‘Namaste aunty!’

‘You can call me Priya’ she came forward to shake hands.

‘Riya has lost touch with her dancing. If you want to learn I’m there’ she laughed again.

‘Thanks’ I said and went straight into the kitchen.

For next one hour I kept myself away from Priya and Riya. But my madness was always there to fix me…

‘Hello aunty, he likes Riya a lot’

‘Oh is it? Riya didn’t tell me… Do you like him as well?’ her mother was asking her. Poor Riya, I thought, but was also curiously waiting for a nod from her. Instead she stared at her mother and then at me. I gave a silly smile and had nothing to say.

‘If Riya is not interested I would be happy’ my madness interrupted our exchange of glares.

‘Why would you be happy? Are you seeing him?’ asked Riya.

‘Yes of course, don’t you know?’ my madness yelled.

‘Hey, what’s going on? What are you saying?’ I took charge of my madness.

‘You know everything. Now why are you pretending? Tell me right now, else I’ll leave’ my madness started crying.

‘Look, I like you but…’

‘But what?’

‘But, Riya…’

Priya took my hand and placed on Riya’s hand.

‘Are you happy now?’ both my madness and Riya asked.

‘hmmm… well, …’ I was swallowing my broken words.

Before I said anything else everyone shouted unanimously…

‘APRIL FOOL!’

I came very close to fulfilling the aim of my life, but sometimes worst nightmares come most easily...

To be continued…

Blank Page…!

When he wrote he wrote nothing…
He filled an empty glass with nothing…
Void was the word that defined everything…
A blank page was all that was left for my being!

I bear no grudges nor do I carry anything…
I felt sad and dismissed with his shamming…
Why do I deserve a blank page was my questioning…
He didn’t take it back nor was it filled with anything!

Months passed and years were ending…
One fine day the blank page was all I was holding…
The moment of realization had come cracking…
I knew it wouldn’t end with this waiting…

The page was meant to be filled by me and not him, but I carried it whole life doing nothing!

Preyed...!

It was a beautiful morning unlike so many other days when the clouds never wore silver crown, the dewdrops never decorated the green petals, the tender flowers never bloomed to be so colorful and the birds so melodious! As always, I got up to my alarm ring and felt lazy to get up for the morning jog! But I couldn’t let it off since I knew there was something special about this morning and something awaited me miles away. I got up on my feet and felt happy for this unusually pleasant morning which I had never seen before. From the window standing trees welcomed me to join them for a while. ‘Yes I’m coming out’ I said…

The newly bought Reebok shoes and jockey boxer were all that I needed to cover myself for the jog. I started off and felt like everything else was moving along my side. The chirping was louder, the waterfall was thicker and the clouds were denser. I was not jogging but dancing to the unheard tunes of the Jungle that somebody composed specially for me. Yes, it was conclusive… the day was indeed different and something very unique was waiting to happen. But was my belief so right!?


After 2 miles and half an hour I was at the sea. A sunrise at the seashore… who on earth has words to express what it looks like? I closed my eyes for a minute and then as always jumped into the water. To swim against the waves could easily be the most difficult exercise ever. Inside the water there’s a sense of pleasure when you see other animals. Of course, you cannot compete with them and win but you see that you can just do anything… swimming to flying!

There was a red coat on her body. It resembled like something that was made of diamond and was made just for her! It looked smooth like velvet and she looked gorgeous. She was sleek and had a tender body that was striking. The way she swam impressed me to follow her in the water world. She had noticed me coming from behind and had started swimming faster than before. I lost her for a while in the midst of a storm, but my eyes looked out sharply. She was by my side in a jiffy. I touched her gently and she threw a gesture of being loved by my touch. I was flowing my hand all over her body and she bowed down to enjoy my company. I was trying to hold onto her and she equally acknowledged. I kept swimming with her and we both reached the shores. I wanted to come out but she didn’t. I wanted to have her but she refused to come out. I took her out of the water in my hand and she was dancing to her death. She looked into my eyes and I looked away…

In a few seconds, the fish lied dead on my hand and my mouth was watering. I had nothing to cook, but I liked having raw fish. So delicious! How could god make something so beautiful and delicious I thought! This was a small fish and I tried to get a bigger one for my breakfast. I jumped into the sea again. This time the prey was someone else…!


The waves went haywire, never allowing me to come anywhere near the shores. I was swimming hard but never moved. It was like a trap tailored for me and I had drunk more water than I ever had. Not for a moment I was let out of water! While someone was pulling me I felt someone was also pushing me into it. The breaths I took were faster and the red fish stayed on my mind. ‘God save me, take me out of here…’ I prayed and cried and yelled. I only saw 100s of such fishes I no more wanted to take home. Just 'I' wanted to go home. But there was no one to listen. I went down, deeper and deeper. My breath slowly halted… I slept on the floor of the sea!

Next morning I woke up. I was still in the water, I was still breathing. I was happy and enjoyed swimming. I didn’t fear to get drowned. No big wave ever scared me. I had all the fellow fishes who were my family and friends. I didn’t want to leave them and didn’t want to go anywhere out. I loved all the food I got under water. Even I looked beautiful and attractive with newly woven velvet!

It was another day when a man came into the water. He rushed swimming behind me and I knew his intent. I asked god to save me and let me swim faster. Yes, I did swim faster like all fishes did. But the man had to win and I was to rest in peace on the cruel hands of that human being who ate me in no time!

The waves waited for another prey and the fishes waited for their friend on his way…

Please Come Back…

One night I went in search of someone whom I thought I relied and believed always! It was a dark night and nothing seemed visible to the eyes that were wet and dozy. I was tired and upset and low and down but still wanted to meet. It had been long time since we last met and I started feeling it’s only me who was missing that important soul of my life. How ignorant of you? I asked with anger…

The wind never blew, the stars never shined, the moon didn’t glow. It’s been so many nights since we last met when I spoke for long hours, when I went sad and came back smiling, when I went with questions and came back with answers, when I went with anger and came back relaxed! Now where are you… why don’t I see you? Why don’t you want to talk to me?

I didn’t stop searching even as it was midnight. I didn’t care what the clock stuck… I didn’t care where my cell phone was. I just kept walking and I only saw dry faces, tall buildings, speeding vehicles, artificial trees and dead sky. I was seldom denied an appointment. When I said I wanna meet we met. It was me who had to ask, it was me who had to walk and it was me who had to talk… there was never a denial!

And today I needed to talk the most… it’s been months since we last spoke. Today I was the most disappointed and was the most worried about everything around me. And so I needed to meet more than ever before. Why was I turned away from your glimpse? Why was I treated hostile? Where are you and why are you angry or what are you angry for?

I cry and weep but you don’t come to console your child. You are the creator, you are my God! Why did you disappear? You know that I’m waiting to tell you something that I told no one. The night is going to end… I wait until the sun would shine… I know you’ll be back… I know we would talk… your son is waiting…

Please come back… …. …


Lovingly yours!
Krish

Me n My Madness – VI

It was a long weekend and folks at home had planned for a pilgrim visit, which I had no intention to join! They were co-operative enough not to force me but cautioned of utilizing those 3 days fully for studies. ‘I will finish the whole course in these 3 days’ I told my mom seriously. But she seriously knew it was a joke!

It was my Friday morning when it was actually Friday afternoon for others. I thought I got late with my plan… so I got up from the bed and 1st thing was to reach the phone…

‘Hey, come over!’ and had hung up. I then dialled the next one in the list.
‘Hey, come over!’ and had hung up. Next one was a little difficult.

‘Hi, good morning!’ I said
‘Hi, good afternoon!’
‘I thought we all would meet up at my place for lunch today.’
‘Who all?’
‘You me and Brahmaputra’ I knew she wouldn’t say no if Brahmaputra came over.
‘Oh. What’s the occasion?’
‘Nothing, just need to discuss biology’ This biology was the only subject that stayed in my mind even when I was out of my mind!
‘Ok, I’ll come with him… tata’ Riya had hung up!

My madness had come over in no time when I was just getting ready for a shower! She never came alone… Roxy always accompanied her. Those days I hated Roxy as much as my madness!

‘Find the vegetables in the refrigerator and get ready to cook!’ I ordered.
‘Ok, you go and take bath. It’s been 4 days already!’ she said… ‘come soon, don’t do anything else!’

When I came out of the bathroom I thought I was in a marketplace! The whole of kitchen floor was decorated with cut vegetables. She had cut vegetables that would serve 20 people!!! Before I said anything the bell rang! I ran onto open the door and saw Riya and Brahmaputra standing behind while Roxy had taken off my towel! I closed the door while my madness gave her silly smile and my towel!!

Riya did not like to see my madness and was just sitting with herself. Brahmaputra was kind enough to help my madness with her cooking and I sat with Riya as the jazz played softly.

‘Do you think it’s a nice music to dance?’
‘Yes, but…’ she hesitated.

I threw my hand at her and she rolled like a whirlwind into my arms. Facing each other in one step and banging the back in other we went moving. Hands clasped, feet raced and the momentum was on… excitement was high and it was a world of jazz and dance. Neither my madness nor Brahmaputra had come out of the kitchen. Song after song the dance was picking pace and Roxy had done another blunder. It had spilled oil all over the floor and in a moment we fell down one over the other as someone banged opened the door…



To be continued…

Me n My Madness – V

It was Riya! She almost saved his life… with wet eyes she stared at my madness and they walked out of the lab hand-in-hand! Oops that was a heart breaking moment for so many guys! Riya walking out with lab attendant… the news was too good to be a secret ;)

Later in the night I met Riya at the tuition and consoled her. We all went to watch the movie ‘dil to pagal hai’… me n my madness, Riya and her attendant! They were like me n my madness… neighbors and child-hood friends.

We had walked out of the movie midway and were waiting outside as we sat down to smoke! Riya’s love story had affected my madness more than me.

‘You know, she’s going around just to get good marks in the lab!’ she concluded.
‘Come on, they are child-hood friends…’
‘No, Riya is a liar!’ yet another conclusion.
‘Anyways, he’s atleast earning his bread! I don’t even have that. Will she ever marry me!?’
‘Oh God! You still love her? Even after knowing all these? You must be crazy… you’ve gone nuts… you are a mad!’
The last conclusion was indeed conclusive… my madness tagged me mad!

I didn’t know if I loved Riya but I was attracted. I didn’t know if I wanted to marry her but I enjoyed the imagination of being married to her… I was only 17 and thought that’s precisely the right time for marriage! Our great grand fathers married in their teens! Why not us!

As we waited for Riya and her man, my madness didn’t stop talking and I didn’t stop imagining…

As I sit inside on the rosy bed alone waiting for her to come, she’s pushed inside by her friends… with a glass of milk she walks in a rainbow colored sari… she slips on me and the milk rains as shower getting us both wet… with eyes glued to mine and trembling eyebrows she poses a sorry… I help her stop blinking by cleansing the droplet of milk on her eyebrows by a warm breath… she comes close to show her gratitude… comes more close… more close… close!

‘The gates are closing …. Let’s go out!’ my madness screamed in my ears!
‘But where are they?’
‘They might have gone already. Let’s go now!’

Why do pleasant dreams get bangings in the end! I didn’t know… I still don’t know. But when my madness is around, nothing can go right. She’s always at the right and I’m mostly the one who’s left…

To be continued…