Our lives begin with a lot of entangled
relationships which we only realize gradually. At home, at play home, at school
& university, at workplace and of course the neighborhood! Some of them we
get to pick and choose, while others come destined. The question we most often
ask is – ‘why were we put to be in a certain relationship?’ rather than ‘what should
we do to keep it?’
Relationships work because of various
reasons ranging from ‘dedicating one-self completely’ to ‘doing nothing for it’!
The need to be in a relationship changes with time and individual priorities. Blame
it on the materialistic approach of the modern world or tag it a natural human
tendency coz it’s not a new phenomenon. Relationships have always suffered and
gone stale even in the past as far as one can look back into history! Yet,
something remains associated tightly with a successful or a failed
relationship.
‘Expectation’ comes close to becoming
the most influential factor that decides whether a relationship works or not! If
we don’t expect anything out of something, we neither get disappointed nor
affected with what transpires. But if we do expect a certain outcome, there are
bound to be dissatisfaction and outrages when it turns otherwise. So the
simplest way to make any relationship work is not to have any expectation. Sounds
simple, not real!
When our lives began, we were
already in relationships and without realizing anything we had our own set
expectations as well. As the number of relationships increased, so did our need
for having expectations from each. It’s only unfair to say a child shouldn't expect
its mother to feed while it’s hungry or a student shouldn't expect to get good
grades in an exam. It’s like asking to do your job, without expecting any
result. That’s a good ask if not realistic. Simply because we won’t or can’t
work towards something without getting anything in return! So expectations
would always exist.
It now becomes like a chicken and
egg situation. While relationships work better when there are no expectations,
we can’t live without expectations. They both go hand in hand. Like for a
coffee to taste good you need right amount of sugar, a
relationship needs just enough expectations. Neither a lot, nor in-existent!
If you go with the tagline ‘Expect
little and gain more’, that’s foolish too because when you say expect little,
the word ‘Gain’ shouldn't even occur. While the life still goes on with
questionable relationships, just ponder how much expectation will keep it and
how much would ruin it. The answer will become obvious and only you’ll know it.
No one else!
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