It was Class V - Hindi class and Miss Gulnaz Begum had arrived a little late while children waited with pin-drop silence! It was unusual for her to be so late and when she was finally in, her poise and energy quickly transformed into the whole class.
‘Each of you will stand up and tell me what you would want to become when you grow up…’
The first benchers were first to start. Being neither a first nor a last bencher, I stood up on my turn and without a thought I said, ‘I want to become a singer’ to which everyone laughed. And that day Miss Begum named me ‘Singer’…
As days passed, it vaguely remained in my memory and though I never sung anything in front of anyone I was permitted to join a famous music class near my house while I was in class 8. My interest towards the music grew over the period of time and had safely neglected studies believing I’m going towards what I dreamt of! But the truth wasn’t very easy to digest…
It was one such day in the music class when everyone had to render a solo song. For past 6 months I had avoided this ‘once in a fortnight’ session but not that day. When my turn had come, I went up to the microphone and swallowed my lyrics! Few 10s of people sitting in front of me made me more nervous than I had imagined! It was an impossible moment that brought fear in me which I had never felt… I ran away from the dais and went out of the class… I was never let in after that!
It kept haunting me and I never attempted singing for many years. My life continued like any other ordinary kid's and there wasn’t a minute trace of my dream in my mind until one night…
I was one of the thousands of participants at the Indian Idol show and my song had impressed the judges. Later I went on to make it to the top10 and public voting always voted me the most favorite! I went on to win the title and then there was no stopping…
…until I opened my eyes! That’s why they say fairy tales exist only in dreams. So I ignored it until another night 30 years later…
It was in one of my visits abroad and in a conference where Miss Gulnaz Begum was seated next to me. She was the very same charming lady that she always was and smiled at me like I was still a school boy! As the conference continued, Miss Begum and I had stuck a conversation as if there was no one else in the room…
‘How are you madam?’
‘I’m good and how are you ‘Singer’?’
I didn’t say anything. She continued…
I woke up again to realize that the traces were still there in my mind and started thinking about that day in class-V and the day in music class. Those 2 were the most contrasting days of my life… while one opened doors to a dream, the other closed them.
I decided to quit my job and went back to the same music school. My teacher’s photo was hung on a wall and kept teasing me of the day when I ran away. The fortnight tradition still continued in the school and my fortnight had come back after 35years!!!
I held the microphone and closed my eyes and there were two people in front of me - Miss Gulnaz Begum and my music teacher. One asked me to stay on and the other asked me to sing. Without moving my lips I let the throat free and a strange voice broke into the auditorium. It was strange because I heard it sing for the first time on a microphone. It echoed, soothed and sprang! When the voice stopped, I opened my eyes and all hands joined to applaud loud and hard! With wet eyes I stood and again only two moments in the 50 long years of my life re-appeared…
There are those 2 moments in our lives… one opens the door to our dreams and the other closes. If you chose to, you can bring back one of these like I did!
-Singer
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