WANDERERS - XXIX

The wanderer walked back that evening on the interiors of the town crossing jungles that stood connected to the entrance of the cave-temple. The little boy had once mentioned, ‘there are unknown number of caves in this town and each is connected to the other. But don’t ever venture alone. We once did, I along with 3 other boys. Only 3 of us returned’

In the midst of the jungle he saw an opening that seemed like a crawl into the cave. As he went close, he saw the trailing end of a snake that was creeping in. For a second, the snake hissed back long enough and opened its full hood. It might have almost tangled the wanderer if there wasn’t that inch of a distance between them. He held on and ran into the fastest exist he could locate out of the jungle while the reptile had slithered.

It didn’t take him long from there to reach the cave-temple. He sprinkled some water on himself at the entrance and climbed on the roof. The evening Sun was setting against an image that stood on the rock leaning on crossed trees. He smiled and walked towards her.

She looked at him and timidly sat down on the rock. It was the first time he saw her look shy. He sat down on one of the rocks beside hers.

‘Such a beautiful evening after a disappointing day’, he announced. She nodded as if she knew why his day wasn’t encouraging.

The Sun was falling slowly, yet quickly and left the whole sky ahead of them in crimson red. Their faces reflected bright red like they were painted, and they enjoyed looking at each other. For a while they exchanged glances and said nothing.

‘You may expect the young man’s mother tomorrow’ he broke the silence.

She looked indifferent.

‘Do you think you can solve this?’ he probed. ‘What is the most difficult situation you’ve had to handle?’ he continued among many other questions.

‘Let’s not worry about that. Let’s talk about you’ said the sanyasin after a long pause.

‘You don’t say anything about you, but you want to know everything about me’

‘Shouldn’t you be happy about that? Is it not what one wants? To be listened to? How often do people listen to anyone’s feelings or emotions? Everyone wants to talk about himself, unless you pay for it like in your city for a doctor, lawyer or a psychiatrist. Who would care to listen?’

‘Do you know, this is the longest set of questions I’ve heard from you so far?’

‘I’m listening…’

‘You know about me. I come from a city, far from here, nothing like this place, people who’re aliens yet all the same. We are modern, you’re traditional. We’re broad-minded, you’re not. There are many such extremes, yet I’ve come to realize they’re all just the same. They seem different but aren’t so.

Anyways, like I said, I come from a society of so called sophisticated people and I’ve always lived an ambitious life, dreamt of achieving great heights and succeeded to a large extent, more than one could feel proud of. But I was this split person. One half wanted to have everything, while the other half wanted to give away everything. I wanted to help the needy, the real ones. I wanted no sorrows to exist. I left everything I had for this journey that I took on months ago, 2 and a half years precisely. And I’m wandering ever since.’ he finished.

‘I know every bit of this about you having seen so much of you in the last few weeks. You said nothing I didn’t already know of you’

‘What else can I say? There are no secrets…’ he looked at her, ‘…unfortunately.’

She saw him and their eyes met like never before. There were no inhibitions, nothing to hide or pretend. They were two strangers who knew each other and trusted each other with a strong unknown belief. They might walk their own ways very next day. And their being together was most uncertain like they were destined to meet for only a cause that wasn’t for either’s benefit. They exchanged few more glances and were looking at the sky that had lost all its blood. Day had died and night was being born.

‘Yes, I was in a relationship with a woman I loved the most. We were happy, and we lived for years together without apprehension or compulsion. All we gave each other was love. There was respect, trust, compatibility, everything that’s much beyond any relationship would ever need to be alive and flourish. It was too perfect, and…’

She looked without questioning. And that meant he should go on, and so he did.

‘There’s a saying. A man always walks away from what he has for something he doesn’t. And we walked our own ways deliberately, with forced reasoning. We created unwanted checklist and justified it, convinced each other that we should separate not knowing for how long. I don’t know if I’ll meet her tomorrow or might never meet her again. We shall get back to each other only when we can’t be alive anymore. When we can live on our own, why should we live together? You may find it ridiculous, but that’s how it is.’

‘No, I’m listening. I know what you mean’

‘When we both feel the need of becoming one again, we shall and we will, but not for a reason. Relationships are selfish. Each needs the other or just one needs the other. We too had needs, and we loved each other like any other couple. We had each other’s presence that had become absolute necessity. But it can’t be so, it shouldn’t be. When we find a selfless way, we shall find each other. We won’t even make an attempt. It would happen or it won’t.’ He finished though he was still composing his words to explain. But when he looked at her, it didn’t seem necessary.

It had become completely dark around and the lake had turned mute unlike its rushing waves that provided some background cinematic chords while he was speaking. Some nocturnal creatures pierced their ears as silence prevailed between them.

‘Desires and needs always exist. They make us selfish’ she said slowly almost to herself.

‘Would a woman your age not have desires?’ he paused. It was a generic question but she knew it wasn't meant to be and it was for her.

‘Yes, but before I would desire for anything…’ she quickly stood up and suggested they should get back for dinner. He got involved in his own thoughts and never found it right to ask her any further or make her uncomfortable. They walked back on the dark trail.

Next morning the old woman stood at the cave knowing nothing about her fate that was waiting to change or the sanyasin who sat meditating deep inside.

Continues…