I am back

So here I am. Back again, after long. And yet, here I am… once again, not knowing where I am. I don’t know anything. Wait, that’s not true. Coz that would’ve been easy – to not know anything! Like they say, ‘ignorance is bliss’. And another thing that’s easy is ‘knowing everything’, I guess. But what’s hard is to be in between. Is it fun – to be traversing from one end to the other?

I guess that’s what it has been and that’s how it’s going to be from here. The unknown, the unforeseen, the images in mind. The unreachable, the unattainable, the un-obtained. It’s a journey towards all these. And it only becomes clear with time, I’m certain.

Looks like I was already here before. And now, again, here I am. So, this is what it’s going to be. To be here, and then somewhere else and back to be here. Mysterious, ridiculous, hysterical, unreal and shabby.

I run away, farther, only to be denied and sent back. Here I am. Like circling in a giant wheel. It takes you up and above, only to bring you back to the ground, to give a feeling of never been there and never gone anywhere.  Was it worth then to have gotten into the giant wheel? I wonder.

It’s all scattered, disturbed, wandered and lost. Or could it just be a pattern? Does it tell something, does it mean anything? That I’d be here. That I’d come back here, wherever I go, or try to go. Should I try then? What’s the point? I wonder.

One recurring thought flashes. It translates as ‘what’s the benefit of this benefit?’ And everything becomes philosophical, mystical, and preachy. Good to see, unwilling to buy.

What would’ve happened if I hadn’t come back here? And just kept going, kept moving, running away farther and up and above. Not a giant wheel, a rollercoaster that goes on and on. Or a bullet train that speeds off or a spaceship or a rocket. But hey, they all return. Yes, everything returns, comes back or gets pulled by the gravity. So is that it?

Is it natural then to be back? Is it the only truth in the universe? To be back to where you began? Or is there such a thing that’ll indeed take you from nothing to everything? Illusion, naïve, innocence …

I think, to be back is the only right thing. It’s the ultimate truth, a reality. To be back, to be home is bliss. To be back is to be blessed. To be back is for the fortunate ones.

I could go away, far or up above. But I’ll be back coz it’s the ultimate truth. It’s a journey, which ends at where it begins. Never still but, traversing, traveling, rotating and revolving. So here I am. Back again, to a place where I began. For that is all that is there, nothing else is or was or going to be.

Period.